i'm going to take step by step to delete izz from my life i guess.. maybe being just a date n friend, could use it as an opportunity to take a slower step to step away from him... i guess i'm not gg to find my way back to him instead use this opportunity to step away.. we will be dates first... than slowly become casual friend... than become aquintance than slowly lost contact n never to find him again... n than he can have all the girls he wants... he can go flirt as many girls at a time he wants... n all the girls that wants him can have him at the same time... yepp... i think we should do it that way... at least its not so cruel on both sides... just hoping we wont be gg away from each other as an enemy but as a forgotten friend that we once called love... i think we both should go away from each other... its gg to be hard for me.. but for him? i dunno...
niways in case if u guys wondering if the previous post was refering to him... no, its not him... its for someone who is once my friend.... a stupid retard guy...
Masturah @ 10:52 PM
i hate u farking arsholes... go and fcuk all the bloddy pussies n dickheads... u farking whores gigolo bitch retard.. u so clever go u fark arnd like stupid dumbass u nabueyc***by@... u lame freaking tard go mess with the bangla la idiot.. damn u dim wit cby!!! go get ur unthankful misfortunate life sucked in the vacuum n zipped into a worst dumbshit life... u dun deserve me as a damn friend... u want me to be ur friend damn well u apprciate it u arshole bitch... get a life n fark off mine!!! i so farking hate u... ^$@@%^^@**^^*(((%%#@@7678##**
Masturah @ 10:45 PM
hey there... today sch was okok la.. no lesson but we were in class... so first lesson play comp... than second lesson n third lesson combined n shortened... was suppose to be 3 hrs but nw become 1 hr... hahaha... so that last lesson we had we planned a small outing to sentosa on 25 june.. than mrs chan bought snacks for us... n we r released at 11am... farking early... so happy right can go home... but naahhhh!!! we got vocal training at 2pm.. its a final training before the rehersal n performance day... alot of my classmate cabut for class n only come for vocal training...
so that whole freaking 3 hrs really dunno what to do... i join amirah, morgan n fadilah... thet r farking funny sia!! for the whole 2 hrs we sit down at the canteen, we all laugh like crazy n gossip like shit... seriously i had damn alot of fun... funny sia!!! morgan n fadilah can make the best comedy couple... hahahah... joking on each other like nobody business.. hahhahahaha... gerek group of frens... but when morgan left for dragon boat, all of us damn bored... went to banking hall n its freaking boring like idiot..
than went for training at 2pm... it was the best training i ever had cos we all did our best n laughed like mad... hahhahha.. shiok ah... we had our positions n practice the entrance n exit stage... sang so well than the first time.. we r all ready... we had our blazer tried out.. i took size L... few mth ago, i borrowed a blazer for a competition, n my size is XXXL... now become just L... wohoo... yeah man! the guys damn funny... they had to sing solo to repositioning.. one of them when his turn, he open his mouth to sing he laugh.. 3 times.. than when he get to sing, sound funny cos he shy n pressure.. hahaha... than his friends said that his tounge is hairy, thats y cannot sing.. hahahahahaha... our trainer name is is mr wilson lim.. but we all call him JJ De Souza... its not even his name.. we call him that cos on our lyrics, that name is writen as the composer, at that time we didnt knew his name so call him jj... hahahahha... he kept saying its not his name... that ahmad said, "please arh cher, we call u JJ.. please" hahahahahha than another time he said to JJ, "noty ar JJ" hahahahha.. really had a good laugh... its madness... i really had a great time at sch...
aft sch went back with nisa... we talked... we wanted to go cwp to look for white long sleeve blouse for the performance... so we went n called mar to join us for dinner... we met and ate kfc... by 7pm we left.. we settled the strain in our friendship n left with a smile... n we all left n went home.. yepp, here i am at home...
niways ytd izz lent me his nike shoe... he wanted me to wear that shoe so badly.. so i wore.. its huge.. got lots of space inside.. hahahah.. even i'm didnt meet him, he is following me everywhere today... hahhahha... n here is the picture..
didnt mit izz today... i may be meeting him tmr... he didnt want to go for his national training cos he want to meet me... wth, told him to go for his training n meet on sunday for our date... hahaha... than he said meet aft his training cos he dun need to go to his cousin house.. hahhaa.. so seee first la how tmr...niways tmr morning i need to make my way down to the Orchid Country Club for the AYG job training... i'm despatched to that location for the AYG event on 1 to 6 july for bowling event... yepp... damn, i'm the only one gg... haiz... got to be independant...
k la, i go now.. bye...
Masturah @ 8:29 PM
last night slept late again... talk to him till 2 am.. i had a bad headache since the previous night probably cos i cried too much.. took the panadol last night n i khocked out.. but now my head still hurts... haiz...
i love izzuddin so much... i miss him so much...
Masturah @ 9:22 AM
its hard to accept, but i have to anyway... right now i am single... but unavailable... me n izz are not a couple anymore.. we decided to take a break for a few reason.. right now we call it date... we both are dating each other... its not that we quarrell abt something or someone... its abt us... we need to take it slow.. not wanting to rush into things... i was upset n cried that night... but than i now its the best for us.. we shall truely get to 'know' each other deep down to carry on... i guess only we both noe wat is the real reason.. its hard for me but i'll take my time to move on.. but hey, we r still dating each other like we used to... but i'm not his girlfriend anymore.. he wanted me to get to noe other guys n make new 'friends'... but no, i dun want.. i guess i'm too emotionally attached to him... he said that when its the right time, we'll patch...
we met last night... i cried in his arm.. n he said to me... "dun worry, i'm not doing this to date other girls... i just want to rediscover myself, for me, for my future n for us.. i want to realised how much we mean to each other... i love you no matter what..." the weird thing is, aft we broke up, we r more closer to heart with each other.. no more quarrelling like we used to... it felt that our love is true for each other... i understand what he meant cos i wanted that too... we need to take it slow... but what make me breakdown last night that we were too close n too attached to each other.. loved him so much yet we r not togather.. niways these holiday i'll be very busy with events, he dun want me to get distracted abt us... he dun want me to be too worried abt us... but he'll be there for me.. he said he wanted to come with me during my touring at raffles trail with the foreign student...
ytd i told him that i want to play soccer.. he said its very weird of me to ask to play soccer cos usually i hesitant to play... i wanted to cos i wanted to release my stress.. i realised i felt better aft playing soccer cos i found joy with him.. its my true feelings.. its a joy without doubting.. but last night we were closer than ever.. it kept me thinking...
i guess we have to take our time since we r still so young... it hard for me to let go but i'll find my way out.. its not a cruel of him to do this cos its for the better...but i have to set boundaries between us though he dun want that... if we really meant for each other than we will be togather... the song i put for this blog, its abt us...
baby.. i love you no matter what.. i guess its for the better.. n i noe you'll always there for me like u used to... we'll always meet like we used to... i guess its the best time for us to find out how much we really mean for each other... now we have to put faith on each other to discover ourself n let fate take its course... probably its a sign for us... i realised u r too precious for me to let go... letting go made me realised how much i loved you...
here is the lyrics for the song i put here in my blog.. its abt us... called Ordinary People by John Legend..
[Verse 1]
Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday
[Bridge]
I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow
[Chorus]
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
[Verse 2]
This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way
[Bridge]
I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay
[Chorus]
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
[Verse 3]
Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
Maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight,
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I
[Chorus]
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go(hey)
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
(Heyyy)We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
(Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow
Take it sloww
Take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
Masturah @ 8:28 AM