heyhey.. i just got home... today i'm not in good mood... u can see for urself in the previous post..
niways went for sw but i sat one corner cos really i dun have the mood to play.. than went out to bugis to do our principal of commerce, problem based learning project research...
the whole day i was worrying abt baby and the family... i dun want to elaborate... i try to help as much as i can.. i'm already frustrated with my sch stuff.. than baby call me and got frustrated.. he was like mad at me dunno for what... sorry la that i cant be there for u all the time.. i have my own commitment.. i have my sch commitment.. i got my own priority.. why cant u just try to calm down and understand my situation? thanks alot for adding to my frustration.. i was trying to help and in turn u gave me that attitude... thanks alot...
finally i get to talk to someone who would listen and understand.. thanks friends... they told me i looked pale and troubled... so i decided to talk it out to fath and mar... yeah, now they noe...
k la i stop here... the rest of the story is still a mystery... bye...
Masturah @ 7:05 PM
heyhey.. good morning everyone... i noe my blog is boring cos no pics and colours... oh well, dun have the time to do all that.. well, if u read probably u'll find the joy of reading.. hahaha.. as if.. sorry, talking crap...
niways came back to sch today.. a new day for the week... i mean for sch at least... thought life would be much simpler, but its getting complicated.. my morning was ok... took the cab again cos i'm lazy... fcuk! paid $6 for my pure laziness... haiz..
niways come sch only problem here and there.. nothing serious but trouble is still a trouble... shall tell the general.. just some outlooks...
i'm so troubled about my own time management... if i can, i would have give my time to everyone... i'm having trouble for my time management.. i'm struggling to juggle my time for school, studies, cca, family, my own house, my own space, my baby, my friends and other friends, my work, myself, my health... i'm so messed up for everything... i dunno what to do first.. everything is my commitment.. everything is important while some other things is urgent... if i do something what abt myself? what abt my own personal space? i really would wish for more time and space... i need understanding from my loved ones...
i need to manage my own time... i need to set my priority... what comes first? i need some encouragement... maybe i just need myself to stand strong for my future... afterall i deal my own life and no one is controlling me.. should i be self centered or give my time for everyone and everything? what should i do so i can create fairness? why is everything seems complicated? its just a simple problem and i cant deal it on my own.. i just need to wake up into reality... i need to stay focus to everything... i cant just focus on one thing and neglect the others..
i'm not saying my life sux or some other things in my life is a distraction... the problem lies with me cos i dun priorities wats urgent and important to leisure and entertainment.. i'm not saying some things that linger in my life is just an extra cos to me, everything is my priority...
am i stress? noo... frustrated? maybe... tired? absolutely... its frustrating when i cant give my all to everything i did... i'm tired... mentally? or physically? i dunno... need some sleep...
i just need ppl to understand me... i want ppl to appreciate what i did.. but do i deserve it when in the end i hurt some ppl... its tiring when i'm trying to make everything work... i'm not a superwomen nor perfect... but am i an absolute failure? did i fail to be a good student? fail as a leader? fail as a daughter? fail as a girlfriend? fail as a friend? i just need understanding and encouragement... can i do it on my own? am i selfish? i just need time... if i do, the first thing i'll do is to sleep.. than the next thing is to visit my late bro's grave... gosh.. i just need some strength... god please help me...
baby, i love you so much... i just need ur understanding and support... i need ur encouragement.. i need some strength... u gave me enuf but i need more... its great to have u and i really do love u so much.. all i need is you to stay by ny side.. maybe it'll take time for u to understand me... but u gave something that i need the most.. emotional support and comfort.. baby, thank you for loving me this far... you came at the right time when i need it the most...
like someone told me before... " love will come unexpected but when u need it the most.. "
i think i'll stop here before i make u guys stress reading my blog.. hahhaa... i'll be strong for myself and for the ones i love....
niways today sera gave us a treat... she treat bought us nasi lemak and a drink.. thanks babe.. she just got her pay... heheh...
kk, bye...
Masturah @ 10:54 AM