i love izzuddin so much
i'm missing my dearest izzuddin. i really love him so much... i really sayang my most adorable and lovable boyfriend. i want to hug him right now... i wish no one will take him away from me. i wish he will stay with me forever, i wish he will stop looking cos i'm here right beside him. our feelings grow stronger each day, building the trust is not easy and its not complete just yet. i really want him to be my forever. i want to mend all the imperfections in my life so that we could live till god call upon us. there is a long way to go, there is so much more to learn. we have so much things to mend in our heart. i want us to move into the future and never look back. taking the memory only for reminicence. baby, i'll be away from you very often from now own due to my obligation, but u noe you will always be in my heart. i hope i could fill you with so much love and happiness. i hope there is'nt anything that we hide from each other. u mean so much to me, i'll be forever yours but will you be mine till eternity?
Labels: i love izzuddin
Masturah @ 11:06 PM
home alone
hey there... for the first time in mths, i am home alone at this hour. a lil creepy though... thank god baby called so i won't be that lonely..
niways today i did'nt go out. stayed at home doing house chores. pile of laundry and dishes. in this hse, i'm the only one who is doing all the cleaning. sian but no choice cos they r busier than me. mum nagged at me for not cleaning the house and been out late everyday and not spending time w family. so today stay at home since baby also cannot go out.
was suppose to meet bby late afternoon just now but cancelled cos its already late, he dun want us to go home late anymore cos both our mum is hunting us down. i was a lil sad that i can't meet him. talked on the phone w him. i did'nt mean to show that i am upset. was controlling... but my voice got a lil chock. was abt to cry. sorry la, i'm abit emotional and crazy these few days. i noe it for our own good. i'm ok w it la, but its just a split moment of sad. cos tmr will be working and he is gg to mit his fren, a girl. than i only get to see him on sun, will be away till wed, than mit him on thurs than fly off to jakarta on friday. baby felt guilty cos i sound so down, i did'nt mean it. i tried real hard to change my mood which i did cos he started to joke and i laugh. really i did'nt mean to sound so down.
we planned to meet on sun. going to spent time at east coast park riding bicycle. we gg to take bus from wdlands and gg to have maccy for our meal. but we will be bringing sandwhich for snack. the rest is still under planning. hope it went well.. i love him so much that i wish i could be with him forever.
niways mum hint me that i have changed eversince i'm with baby izzy... i noe its my mistake and i'm sorry mum. i noe what went wrong, its my time management. i have to balance everything, i need to learn to give my attention equally to all party. i noe i neglected almost everything. i'm going to change that. and i noe baby will help me too. i have many responsibility, i dun want to be irresponsible anymore. i will try my very best to change the situation. its pretty bad for me and izz rite. i need to work things out w my family, its too distance.
rite now i have to go cos my family is back... need to spent time w them. hope they will not mention abt me being different and all stuff cos i noe its my fault and i'm gg to mend it.
bye for now... need to eat cos i've not eaten the whole day...
niways today i did'nt go out. stayed at home doing house chores. pile of laundry and dishes. in this hse, i'm the only one who is doing all the cleaning. sian but no choice cos they r busier than me. mum nagged at me for not cleaning the house and been out late everyday and not spending time w family. so today stay at home since baby also cannot go out.
was suppose to meet bby late afternoon just now but cancelled cos its already late, he dun want us to go home late anymore cos both our mum is hunting us down. i was a lil sad that i can't meet him. talked on the phone w him. i did'nt mean to show that i am upset. was controlling... but my voice got a lil chock. was abt to cry. sorry la, i'm abit emotional and crazy these few days. i noe it for our own good. i'm ok w it la, but its just a split moment of sad. cos tmr will be working and he is gg to mit his fren, a girl. than i only get to see him on sun, will be away till wed, than mit him on thurs than fly off to jakarta on friday. baby felt guilty cos i sound so down, i did'nt mean it. i tried real hard to change my mood which i did cos he started to joke and i laugh. really i did'nt mean to sound so down.
we planned to meet on sun. going to spent time at east coast park riding bicycle. we gg to take bus from wdlands and gg to have maccy for our meal. but we will be bringing sandwhich for snack. the rest is still under planning. hope it went well.. i love him so much that i wish i could be with him forever.
niways mum hint me that i have changed eversince i'm with baby izzy... i noe its my mistake and i'm sorry mum. i noe what went wrong, its my time management. i have to balance everything, i need to learn to give my attention equally to all party. i noe i neglected almost everything. i'm going to change that. and i noe baby will help me too. i have many responsibility, i dun want to be irresponsible anymore. i will try my very best to change the situation. its pretty bad for me and izz rite. i need to work things out w my family, its too distance.
rite now i have to go cos my family is back... need to spent time w them. hope they will not mention abt me being different and all stuff cos i noe its my fault and i'm gg to mend it.
bye for now... need to eat cos i've not eaten the whole day...
above is me n mum during hari raya... beautiful isn't she?
Labels: i love izzuddin, my ballon boy
Masturah @ 8:58 PM
boring...
hey there... i am bored... baby was suppose to come to my hse today in the morning. planning to spent time togather today, the whole day. but than he called in the morning saying he cannot make it cos his ezlink card no value at all. than he can only go out in the late afternoon aft him mum reach home so that he can top up. sian la... and i can't go out just yet cos i got loads of house chores to do and i need to settle of the student seminar project stuff la... i missing my baby... i dunno if i can even meet baby later.if we dun meet today than we can only meet on sun or else on thursday. argh! no!
niways i've been travelling alot and will be travelling alot. will be leaving baby in singapore alot... niways these is where i've gone and i am gg in future...
11 to 14 Feb 09 - Cambodia (school trip with the Entrepreneurship Club(my cca))
19 to 22 Mar 09 - Batam (school trip for National Youth Achievement Award Gold)
3 to 5 Apr 09 - Jakarta (with family, sending marriage proposal for my big bro)
1 to 3 May 09 - KL Shah Alam (with family, aunty getting married)
somewhere in Aug - Jakarta (with family, bro wedding, wife from indon)
somewhere in Sep - Taiwan for 7 days (with etp club) (not confirm)
than on mon to wed (30 to 1 apr 09) i have class chalet at changi and will stay overnite... that means i will not be able to meet baby... noooo!!!!
Labels: i want to hug izzuddin now...
Masturah @ 11:46 AM
i lost weight!
hi again...
news flash! as of today, i lost 10kg!!!!! wohoo... to the person who challenged me to lose 10kg, hey, i did it man! without your freaking help... did it all by myself and no secrets and infact did'nt do much. it abt 4 mth.. but i admit, i did't eat well cos of no appitite and busy.
its all started when my bro pass away... then 3 weeks later i broke up with my ex. was very stress. and it was a holiday, i was working the whole holiday, working real hard to sweat and trying real hard to recover from my wound of losing my bro and breaking up with my ex who never stood by me when i need him the most in my darkest hour. in fact we started quarelling since the death.
i was real stress cos i was working w my parents, i replaced my late bro position cos he use to work w my mum. i have to be stong for my parents, i did'nt want them to see me my weakest point cos they r weak enuf, i noe they only have strength for themselve. it was pain to see my mum stared every corner of the shop cos my late bro use to work there since the shop open. she will cry while she was cooking.. than i have to face my customer and they all liked my bro... every sympathy they gave made me even sad and hurt. they loved him s much that they even cried upon hearing the news. my bro is really the nicest person i ever known. never fails to make everyone smile.
at that moment i only have my frens, but i did'nt rely on them. the only thing that made me strong is god and prayers... the ones that really help me to stand strong is MUSE(picture above). their songs were strong and they mean alot to me. i really love muse, they really take away my sorrow. i really had a terrible fall at that moment. losing two person i loved at that time was really painful. at that time and infact since the death, i did'nt really cried out loud to anyone... it only when i am alone. i did'nt have anyone to give me real emotional support. thank god i was strong enuf and did'nt go crazy and have mental break down or commit suiside. had intentions to smoke, drink, go club and be someone i'm not. but than i think twice, i'll regret in the end. so only thing i did was listening to rock and hard banging music. and back than i have chatters in msn who gave me support every now and than. btw, the person who challenged me to lose weight is my ex la.. name is nizam.
this is when i weight 83kg
this is when i weight 73kg... its taken like few min ago...
Masturah @ 2:54 AM
recent pictures
above is the picture taken at his house ytd... he just taken his shower... he was drying his hair.... he did a knuckle push up for me... woooo... hot... hehehe... than went out to watch movie at yishun...
after work went for meeting at 5, ended at 7, met baby at 8... aft the whole day, this is how i look like... tired and stressed.. got 'drunk' wo alcohol but w lots of things in my mind and tiredness and too much love for baby... thats how i went crazy that tuesday nite.
at the meeting aft work...
this is a fly trap.. cool huh.. its a spread sheet of glue w bait for those irritating fly... once the fly sat on it, it will be stuck and glued. disgusting i noe... niways, if anyone tries to steal my baby izzy, i use this trap on u girls... hahahah... joking...
this is my work place at pasir panjang. a food stall run by my family. its a construction site. got another shop at sentosa also a construction site and my first bro is handling it. my parents is in the pic.
this is taken on tuesday morning... met baby izzy at yishun for breakfast and pass him my lappy... only slept for 3 hrs... and aft that went to work.
we went to kiddy palace to look at the toys... can spot us in the first pic
this is the happy meal i bought for him on the monday... he was sooo happy... cute la my baby... btw, the toy he got if i'm not wrong is the black spidy...
this is taken on 23 march 09... he came to my hse... this is the lollipop he gave me when he fetch me from the 4 day batam trip.. he waited 2hrs for me seh at the arrival hall at harbour front...
Masturah @ 1:30 AM
met baby izzy mum
heyhey... met bby izzy today aft my meeting at jurong. was suppose to eat at admiralty for awhile but plan change last min. he called me that his mum invited me to her house for dinner!! wow that was really last min.. was damn scared cos before these i only met her for short while... but today is having dinner with her.
so baby fetch me at adm mrt at abt 7plus. bought cheese burger at maccy cos trip to his hse will be long since its peak hours and i was freaking hungry... shared a lil w baby... was a lil nervous when i reach his hse. but his mum was nice. she joked around alot. she is funny and friendly. easy to talk to i can say. she cooked mee sup with alot of ingredient. there is alot of prawn, meat, fish cake, sea weed and veg called chai sim (sawi). she gave me like the whole big bowl full of yellow mee and sup and the side ingredient. she is a good cook. tasted nice.. yummy... she did'nt sit with us cos she wants to watch korean drama so she seat at sofa. haha...
half way eating my mum called and gave me a scare... she told me to go home right away... saying my bro is real mad. suddenly my phone low batt. than called her aft abt 5 min, than her tone change, she was just scarying me, actually she wants me home cos my bro need something from me.. laa... scare me and lost my appitite. so aft eating went off quite early since my bro need me at home... its abt the internet connection thingy, and now my internet is back to normal. yay... baby sent me to bustop only. than i went home straight.
niways planned to spent time with baby izzy tmr.. yay... gg to spent it at my hse cos by doing that we save money and we got privacy. and most prob at late evening gg to meet mar and nisa to practice for our lil performance for the upcoming chalet.
i'm missing baby like crazy rite now even though we met just now. i really love him sooo much. dun be jealous ya girls cos he is mine n i am not gg to share with anyone. this morning was at his house, we shared something that others dunno and i am not gg to tell anyone cos its really special and precious. just now baby asked me if he can meet one of his fren this sat and its a girl. he said she is an old fren. felt angry but i am not gg to stop him cos he need his space and freedom since he said she is just a fren. but hey, i dun like it ok. but just go ok. cos i noe i can't be there for you as i need to work. i trust you k baby, dun tarnish this trust like that stupid person who just lost my trust. i love you baby... muacks...
Labels: i'm speechless...
Masturah @ 12:11 AM