i just got this from my face book... a 'fortune teller' says that "your great attention to detail can be a blessing and a cursed"... its so true i say... i do have the ability to seek out for details... its at my advantage on my academic side... but on another part of my life its really suck.. i realised so much details n i found out truth too soon before they could ever tell me... sometimes i hate to have instinct.. whats the point of living a life when u noe things before hand.. no fun it sucks, it hurts...
the worst part is i cant do anything at my position.. i can only hide myself n cry, be mad, be so upset.. cos for the fact that we cant change the fact.. its really sucks... right now, my situation is so trapped... i can do anything... i'm not in the position to do anything... i can be hurt... but to tell the person abt i felt? do they even care? am i gg to keep it to myself abt noeing the truth?
ytd i found out something... it hurts... but than i dun think i can do anything about it... i kept thinking abt it the whole morning while i was at work.. i got bad headache... when i meet them, i could only put up a smile n treasure the time i have with them.. but when i look away, i can only drop some tears n wipe it.. than i put up a smile n be 'happy'... its getting clueless.. its getting dizzying... i'm tired...
for now, to make myself focus on things i should be focusing is.. whenever i tot of the truth n get upset, i'll put a coin n my stitchy bank... than i wrote a letter abt my unhappiness n put it inside... until i find the right time, i tell them the truth... u noe, whenever i got upset or i feel so hurt n sick in my heart, i could feel my blood gushing through my veins in my palm n it gave a shock in my finger tips.. than my fingers will go numb for a while...
ppl told me i look sick n depressed.. this is probably cos of my great attention to details... though i found more n more details, i still couldnt let go... i am killing me... i hope they knew how i felt... i feel so dizzy right now... i dunno how or should i walk out of this situation... u guys mean so much to me to let go.... only they noe who i am refering to... maybe not abt who i'm refering to... i just want ppl to noe wat i'm experiencing right now... thats all..
Masturah @ 2:33 PM
