Masturah

2009-12-12T22:54:00.000+08:00

i'm so sorry guys.. i wont be blogging in a while.. will be busy from now on.. hehhe.. if i got a chance.. i'll write k... byeeee.... btw got diary as a replacement... hehehe..so dont expect me to write anything soon!!!

2009-11-14T20:19:00.006+08:00

heyhey...

lets make it short...

work is getting slightly better... less workload...

niways ytd my bdae..

went to work.. not all ppl noe bout it... hahaha..

izz fetch me from work.. than we went to peninsular.. wolk from my office, pass by the river and th padang...

than we took the train to amk hub.. bought his advance bdae gift from football madness... yay, my prezzy for him settle and he is so happy...

than we went to eat at ljs.. it was late, wanted to go mac for my cake, but we just buy choc cream pie for replacement... than we went to watch the late night movie at amk hub.. we watch Paranormal Activity at 11.50pm! it was super crappy at the begining, than super scary at the end... i was so scared that i was shivering and izz had to hold me damn tight! i was fucking scared.. hahahha..

it ended at 1.30am... dad fetch us and sent him home... hehhe... he bought me a diary that i wanted so much!! bye!!!

2009-11-06T17:17:00.001+08:00

rite now i feel so weak and exhausted...

so sleepy and tired...

i'm doing my best not to trigger my migrane.

2009-11-06T16:59:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. its bee a long time yeah?? hahaha..

hmm.. been busy and so stressed up lately and finally, i was struck with migrane attack! argh...
its started from last thursday.. got too manywork load in the office and need to do overtime... there my headache start to show the symptoms... from that day on, every morning i start my work, my migrane start to attck... on tuesday was the worst hit... the whole day and didnt go away till the next day and i took mc on wed. was given medication.. rested at izz place but it didnt help until he bring me to the library and read comic in the quiet room.. than i feel so much better.. came back o work on thursday, tot the pain has gone but the min i look at my computer screen, damn it strike again.. i tolerated till lunch break... by than the pain is so extreme that i asked permission to take half day... went home and slept in the dark and quiet room... and today went to the doctor again he change the med for me... previously i got the side effect of gastric.. so this time round gave me a stronger one and that gastric wont happen again.. ytd at work, i couldnt focus, interact and respond to people well... it was like living in hell the past few days..

doctor told me that im under tremedous stress and im having neck strain... my attitude change, i became moody, easily irritable and cant think straight... it was hprrible, but when its gone, i'm so happy and so cheerful.. hahaha.. rite now its so much better... i'm at amk cyber cafe with izz..

if u ask me if i'm stress? hell yes... stress abt, say, everything that happens in my life... i'm gg to keep it personal... rite now i got to take things easy and be positive and stay healthy...

u see la, now my language sux as ever and i dunno wat i blabber abt, all i noe i deliver the content i need to write... dun understand? nvm, i dun get it either...

2009-10-26T14:12:00.005+08:00

heyhey... i've been so busy at work... pile of paper none stop coming in and new job need to be done.. gonna be dead soon... i hope by the end of thi week, i can finish the pile, if that is the flow didnt come in... haiz...

niways over the weekend, i recovered from my fever and flu... was working on saturday.. was pissed cos i already planned to mit izz.. haiz... niways at work also i was very pissed off... ahaha nvm bout that...

than on sunday i didnt go to work.. went to mit izz at 10am... go his hse for while than we go off to pasir ris to his aunt hse to take sumting.. than we went window shopping at tempines 1 mall.. that area la... took the bus back and have to be seperated at 5pm cos he need to go somewhere with his family..

i went home and went to sleep till mid night.. hahaha.. freaking tired la...

niways feel oso good miting izz.. he didnt sleep, the night before... but he stay awake the whole journey while i slept in the bus.. heheh...

niways its been a long time since i took picture of myself.. here u go...

and here are pictures of my work station.. my own cubicle... and today i add another phone at my desk.. hahah

k la, i better go now... alot of work to do.. bye..

ps: i love izzuddin so much!!!!

2009-10-23T12:55:00.002+08:00

heyhey...

i'm having fever right now.. sigh! and i'm in the office doing my work.. cant really concentrait though.. but i try my best.. hopefully i will recover during the weekend so that i dun need to take mc... cos if i dun come for work, the pile of papers wont be done cos i'm doing it alone.. haiz.. sian leh!

k la.. bye...

btw, i love izzuddin so much...

2009-10-22T14:30:00.004+08:00

heyhey..

guess what? i'm sick... haiz.. i hope i can tahan until tmr so that i dun have to take mc... than weekend i can rest hopefully.. but got feeling i'll be working at pasir ris... hahah... what a luck...

niways me and izz got back togather last night... we had a talk... it turn out that we both cant bear to leave each other for this kind of reason... haiz... syg jgk die kat aku.. hahaha... of cos i love him like crazy, than y do u think i can last with him till now with my love for him going strong... i really need him by my side in these dark hours.. see la, i'm falling sick already cos of too stress out or maybe overwork and lack of sleep.. i know, i know, dun be mad at me, i'll take care of myself as much as i can...

k la, i better go now... i got so much work to do in so little time... its getting crazy, work never ending.. my god! bye...

2009-10-21T12:11:00.002+08:00

hey there... its gg to be a short post...

i just broke up with izz.. not his fault... but its my situation that is too stressful that complicate things even further...

its been tough on me these days and things just got worst each day.. only god noes wat im gg tru... i dun blame anyone.. i just need the faith to carry on...

right now i need to focus my attention on my career and my family who needs me more than izz do...

for now i dun want to get into any other relationship, i'm too packed to do all that... right now, i'm all for my family business that is facing bad crisis and my attachment that has never ending pile of paper work.. in fact my schedule is so pack to make spaces for izz or even friends... i think its a good decision to make at this moment...

some people say at times like this i need the person i love the most supporting me from the back... but i noe i'm strong to face all the things i'm gg tru right now.. i got faith in me and i'm not looking for sympathy...

right now i, i dun want izz to be caught up with my situation... i'm letting him go cos i want him to have his freedom.. and when i have the time, i want to date with different people without getting attached...

no doubt i love izz but right now is not a good time for me to hold on to him.. i just wish he have a good time and find happiness from other girls better than me... its sad but i'm strong and its the right thing to do...

k la, i gtg.. my work is really bloody alot... too many paperwork to go tru... i'll drown my sorrow in my work and when i go to pasir ris later, i hope i'll feel better meeting my brothers at the Livia Condominium project site...

bye... i'm still strong though its breaking up inside... i have faith in me... i'll hold on tight till the storm passes over...

2009-10-20T11:02:00.002+08:00

i'm so tired! so so tired...

2009-10-19T09:15:00.002+08:00

hey hey people.. its been a long time since i've updated... gonna keep it real short cos i'm at work.. hehehe...

been so busy lately.. i've start my attachment.. its at raffles place, clifford centre.. its nice, i got my own desk with a computer, obiviously, i'm blogging here.. start at 9am and end at 6pm.... i'm an assistant admin and tele-researcher.. doing sales on the phone for small projects.. my case, got to make overseas phone call... yeap..

niways my daily schedule is..
6-8am at pasir panjang shop
9-6pm at office
7-9pm at pasir ris shop

i'm tired but its my life and i have to do it..

last sat spent the whole day with my dearest izzuddin.. its our 8mth.. did nothing much but spent tine with each other cos my schedule is so tight... sunday i was working at pasir ris.. i havent had enuf sleep.. so tired, but still gg strong... my family business is in the state of crisis.. but still holdong on...

today izz gg to fetch me from werk.... yay!!!! i'm so happy.. and today ms chan is gg to visit my company... yay! hahaha

k la, i better go now b4 my boss come in..

bye... i love izzuddin ssoo ssooo much.. he is my heartbeat... hehehe..

2009-10-08T14:34:00.002+08:00

here a song does out to the people over at Livia Condominium construction Project.. its and old song... hahhaa... dun get the meaning wrong yeah ppl.. i love them like my own brothers...

Sealed it wit a Kiss..

dun worry peolple.. i love izzuddin the most

2009-10-08T13:00:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. its such a freaking long time since i update my blog... i have my reasons ok...

i've been super buzy with my work since sch close... and i gave away my lappy for a personal reason... yupp.. may get it back soon...

been helping my family at the shop.. during hari raya, my bro went away to indonesia to celebrate raya with his deary wife... so i took ove the shop at pasir ris for one week on my own... i manage the shop along with 2 workers.. i cant believe i can handle the shop and the stress.. working hours is super long.. from 6am to 8pm... by the time i got home, its alrdy late and i go to sleep.. so i didnt even get to see izz.. that one week managing the shop, i ecame a ook and i made whole lot of new foreigner friends... they are ppl from bangla, china, malaysia, phillipines and a few more.. well, its construction site, wht do u expect?

anyway, alot of people thought that bangla ppl are bad and low class.. but i've been mixing around with them.. they are actually nice people... they have been there for me and take care of me, seriously... so many of them made friends w me, most of them want to stead with me... hahhahaha.. long story.... i've became so popular that those i dunno, noes my name... many asked for my number until one case so kecoh.. hahaha, one day than i write wat happen..

anw, i have a bangla cook.. he is real good to me.. he took care of me, making sure no one disturb me in a wrong way.. he has been cooperating with me and we make a great partner cos i have to cook for lunch on showcase and he cook for the catering... we had so much fun... me, him and my granny... best... he became my agent... many bangla man approach him and confess that they all liked me... he noes me and my ans, he will ans on my behalf.. as how much he has provide support for me, i support him and granny from trouble too.. the tree of us makes a great team, we mixed fun and work togather... my parents and bro were shock i can manage the shop and make the environment so much fun, i break the ice for kabir bai.. they didnt noe that kabir bai can be that much of a joker... he treats me with respect and really like a little sister... dun get it wrong ya ppl... he tot me many bangla words, my customer was surprise i can speak a lil of their language.. they asked y, i ans simply becus my customer are mostly bangla, so i have to learn in benefits of those who dun speak fluent english.. its customer service... they liked me cos i treat them like my frends... not like animals that the social treat them.. i sumhow understood their situation.. overall they are nice

niways something went wrong some way with this guy who been after me for my number.. i said no and he kept pestering me... his name is zaheed bai.. he is nice, i just hate to say no.. i like him as a friend.. i get annoyed.. i told kabir bai... he complained to zaheed bai's senior, i cant believe they protect me to that extent.. he and a few others talk to him or more like scolded him and warned him not to come near me.. he is not allowed to talk to me or even spent time in the canteen... atik bai, his senior and a few others made his rounds in the canteen to make sure he dun come and disturb me... they seriously make sure he is not there... gosh, i feel so bad.. all i want is for him to stop asking for my number but things went so wrong till i dun even talk to him.. he is nice, treat me drinks and chat when i'm free.. he took care of me too, but he took the wrong step... there were so many people like me that they treat me drinks, kfc la, even gave me mooncake la, food la, fruits la.. hahahha... one of them even accompanied me to the shop saying he want to be my body guard, scared ppl kidnap me.. hahahah... niways ytd is my last day... gg to rest till sun cos on mon i'm gg to start my attachment.. sad..

my family business and prob is entangled and trust me, its really messed up.. we are in the down side, its bad but i'm not gg to eleborate... but i'm happy that we all still stay strong... almost lost the shop, but we have a lil faith to keep us gg strong and the bangla ppl have been giving us support, that is y we are doing this for them

niways i'm gg to miss these ppl... the Livia Condominium Project ppl...
kabir bai, mannan bai, atik bai, hachan bai, shofiqul bai, rafiqul bai, gulam bai, aniz bai, zaheed bai, khaled bai, sujian bai, abg jamil, abg mirul, jewel bai, juwel husain bai, rahman office bai, abdul rahman bai, rafiq bai, zakir bai, mtir rahman bai, alamgir bai, that philipine guy.. and many more... bai means brother... in longer terms baiyah.. its bangla...

right now i'm at a cyber cafe with izz.. miss him so much seh! cos i'm bz, i put in the effort to call him using public phone after work.. there was one night, it went beyond midnight... told him bout my work and the guys, he doesnt mind, its part of my job..

k la, i stop here... so long alrdy... i'm gg to miss all my bro at Livia Condo Project site.. on a bright side, i get to spent time with izzuddin... yay!!! bye...

2009-09-17T00:10:00.003+08:00

heyhey.. sorry no update for such a long time... been busy i guess... niways here are the updates...

last monday was having exam.. Banking Operations.. not so bad... studied hard (super last min) hahaha... was on the phone since the previous night with izz in total of 4 hours... hahaha... kick ass!

last tuesday.. went to meet izz and went study at library with mar n redha... than break fast with izz and went home early to study... didnt sleep the whole night to study... hahha...

last wed... as mentioned, i didnt sleep... sat for the paper and went half blank! gerek ke pe? but manage to pull it tru... haha... aft exam, we had briefing about our upcoming industrial attachment... went home at 1 plus and SLEEP!!! woke up at 4 and went to meet my friends to break fast at Seoul Garden Marina... had a great night with them... we ate for 2 hrs non-stop... i got super bloated! had a great time eating my fill worth $26! best ah! there were in total of 10 of us... me, Mar, Ilah and Hanieff, Sera and Fido, Fathullah and Wawa, Azurah and Redha... Sera and Fido left aft eating... the rest of us went to arcade and play good old Daytona... gerek man! i came in second! wooohooo... i hit and crash all cars and they cursed me... hahhahha... went back with mar by train.... as usual, full stomach, go sleep.. there were this fat lady sat beside me.. i think i lean on her.. so comfy like cushion.. hahhahha....

last thursday... izz came to my hse as early as 8am.. he didnt want to stay home for some reason, secret.... we continue sleeping.. hahha.. so tired.... than went out at about 3pm.. we went to Ang Mo Kio park for tracking... hahhahaa. best la, sweat like pig... ahahhaha... but fun exploration... than kill time at AMK Hub... we took the train back to Adm... we didnt take bus, we walk to his home... we were super sweaty... reach his homey, went down again to buy coke for his mum... we were about to break fast, his sister came back from work.. his mum said with so much delight, "eh kakak balik?" hahaha.. cute expression... mother will always love their children... we break fast, got fish, chicken, chicken liver and veg.. yummy.... aft break fast, izz went to watch Avatar for awhile.. me and his mum had a private talk.. its between me and her, i cant believe she was able to open up to me abt family issue... but its between me and her, izz dun even noe wat was it...

last friday.. was at home the whole day cleaning the house until so sparkly... cant believe i can do it... yay me!

weekend... i went to work.. from 6am to 8pm... tired! made friends with my customer... gerek...
on sunday went to break fast with the whole entire family at my aunts house... reach home abt 12am.. went to void deck's public phone to chat with izz... his home phone got prob and my hp have not topped up.. the only way is to call him... we chat for an hour... he talk alot.. miss him like crazy... nvr meet for 3 days ma...

monday... didnt work... had a prob, was upset for a reason... i couldnt reach izz... called his hp but his mum at work... so next best person who happen to msg me was adnan... so i went to meet him... talk it out.. went for a long walk and in the end go north point... he treat me to sakura.. thanks buddy! niways bumbed into cons.. we hugged like crazy... miss her like crazy sia!... finally i manage to reach izz... we decided to meet at 8.. cos i was early, i took the train n waste time... took to bukit batok and come back to adm... reach his place at 8... we chat... was upset about sumting with him... but we were ok... he talk for the next 2hr non stop...he said he was missing me... but i was so stress about alot of things... i hugged him and cried.. thats where i poured out my family trouble... took the bus home and got seriously terrible headache! it was so horrible that i cried in pain in the bus.. i feel like my vains in my neck like going to snap and my brain going to explode.. it was bad... i reach home, i couldnt talk... took panadol and went to sleep...

tuesday... its a long day... woke up at 5am... mum told me that i was crying while i was sleeping... so i decided not to sleep cos of... got la... cos i need to go back to sch for NYAA at 9am... i decided to follow my parents to the shop since its near to my school.... went to work... and went to sch at 9am, dad sent me... it was about the report... they said my report was the best and it was a bench mark for everyone to follow.. woohhooo, so not so much amendents... left sch at 12... went to sleep and got ready for next activity...

the next activity was to go geylang with izz and his mum... i got ready... izz came to my house to put my laptop and fetch me... went to his mum workplace at north point to fetch her... we took train... me and his mum sat at the couple sit.. told izz to sit infront of us the empty sit but he didnt want, so he stand infront of me... than his sis called his mum... and she decided to join us... so, met his sis at paya lebar... we went shopping here and there... me and izz mind our own business while his mum and sis shop... whole day izz went "suddenly i feel so strong, super sexy!" hahahaha... funny... and the dance.. hahahhaa... it was the vid from Ape of death.. so funny... he was trying to cheer me up from the stress i'm having and the trouble we were gg tru.. we break fast at this coffee shop and his mum brought putu piring for my mum... we took the train back home... i alight at yishun... me and his sis chatted in the train... first time.. hahaha.. added her in facebook...

today... is our 7th month monthsarry... we didnt do anything special cos of some problem that we both are facing... went to his hse at 2pm.. i was in no mood cos of the NYAA report... and watever shit... we got into an arguement... hmmm.. pretty bad... i cried like shit and we make up to each other.. haha... never happen like dat b4... we went cwp and library.. sat on the floor as usual but was told not allowed to sit on the floor anymore.. wth??!! luckily got a table, so we go there and sit.. he do his SM... and i read this comic... so darn funny!!!! innocent dog and irrtating dog.. hahah poor owner... he acc me break fast at kfc... than i acc him eat at banquet to eat his ban mien... dun ask.. hahhaha... we than go to bazaar walk around... than go back.. gerek, got lots of hugs and kisses from him, finally.. miss him so much.. recently we face another problem, only a few people know bout it... but we talk bout it... wat a day, sadness in happiness and i found happiness in sadness... watever it is, i love izz so much... niways today is the last day i meet izz.. cos tmr to sat i'm working and sunday is hari raya.. most prob can only meet him next tuesday... sigh... nvm... i love izzuddin.. my one and only one... dun u dare steal him from me u bitches!

k la.. i better go sleep now... got to work in 5 hrs time... pics i upload soon, internet connection got problem... bye!

i love izzuddin!!!!

2009-09-06T14:56:00.003+08:00

heyhey.. sry no update for days... niways... here you go..

friday no sch... went to meet izz and go study.. was practically with him the whole day...
saturday was at home the whole day stdy and suddenly me n izz decided to meet at the very last min to break fast... so i break fast late...
n today.. not intending to go anywhere.. gg to study for tmr final exam!!!

i know some people are upset with me... i knoe who gave me the tag about remembering my friends... you should just put ur name u noe... its not that i forgot my friends, the old ones and the new ones. yes i am wrong for not spending time with you guys... i have my own issue i have my own reasons.. dun worry, one day,when things cleared up, we will meet... you guys wont understand my situation right now.. things are in quite a mess for me. when time is right, i'll be with you guys.. but note this, all of you are on my mind.. i remembered all of u... i still do remember the times we spent with each other and i missed you guys alot... and definitly i miss NVSS... i just need time... one day i will tell you guys but for now, let me settle my things... i am in a mess..

i love my friends.. you guys are remembered...

meiyun & ding jie

adnan

constance

sean

hadi

aaron

justin

yaode

kurniawan

jason

mardhiah

ilah

sera

and those not mentioned...

k la... i stop here.. bye.. wanted to post video.. but got a lil prob.. nvm.. k bye... i hope you guys accept my apology..

2009-09-03T19:16:00.003+08:00

heyhey ppl.... today i didnt go sch.. u know y? cos my bloody phone just have to play stupid prank on me.. i woke up at 7! and realise my phone was off.. asshole.. i was suppose to be in sch at 7.30... so, too late lor... ask my bro to send me by bike but he got to work.. haiz... i think i noe y i couldnt wake up... firstly, i didnt sleep the previous nite, so i was sleeping for a 2 night in 1 night... secondly, i was having flu, so i took the ful pill where it is so drowsy.. thirdly, i est b4 i sleep that made me sleep more soundly... and lastly, was sleeping inside an aircon room instead of the living room, and that made me so comfy... ya, guess tats y i couldnt wake up on my own.. stupid phone...

niways ytd i had a GREAT day!!! sch ended early... was suppose to meet izz and go library... suddenly, he asked me to join him and his mum to sheng siong supermarket at marsling.. i couldnt reject the offer cos i rejected it like dunno how many times, since i'm free for the noon, i went lor...

he told me to go to his hse first to put my stuff... so i went and reach at 2pm... we took the bus... i sat with his mum instead of him... we chatted all the way to sheng siong... we shop for quite a while.. than we went back.. in the, his mum ask me to break fast at her hse.. i said dun want, scared got his dad... but she sae its ok, just dun mind him... i havent sae anything, she sae," ok settle, break fast at my hse"... hahaha...

so we reach his home... wanted to help her cooking, its just 4pm... ahe said rest first, its too early to cook... so ok la... skali izz have to spoil it by asking me go library with him.. haiyo! so ya, me and izz go lib, he wanted to use internet for his sm... at 6pm, we get out of the library and went to the bazaar... i bought wadeh and otak2 for his mum... and we rushed home...

got to his home, she cooked already.. she no need any help... so was sitting in the living room and showing her some pic in my lappy.. she lend me a pants cos she know i'm uncomfortable in the skirt.. hhaaaha.. go out of the toilet, his dad came home.. argh! scared... we just smile and he went it... his mum got intro la..

during break fast, the 4 of us sat in one table... me, izz, and his parents. his sister not around cos she was working... i was scared so i didnt talk much... was told that his dad wont talk much.. yupp, he didnt... hahaha, he eat abit than we go watch tv... so left the 3 of us... suddenly it got noisy.. we talk alot.. hahaha...

after eating, we keep on chattin until our hand still dirty got dry... hahaha.. we cleared the table... i washed the dishes... hehehhe... aft dinner, we continue sitting at the dinning area.. i show my bro wedd photo to her...and we chatted... than i went off at 8pm... yepp... i spent time with her for 6 hrs.... so long... hahaha... niways she gave me a dress... she call me along to help her make kuih raye... hehehe

we than go off.. i said thanks to her than we leave the hse... izz sent me off.. we walk to wdland mart, to buy some food for me... bought maggie for myself and bought kuachi for him... he walk me to bustop and we missed a bus... chatted for awhile, than the bus came... gave the final hug and kiss, we go off... yepp..

i had a great day with them... i love spend time with her.. seriously.. we chatted alot... hahhaa.. looking forward to spend time with her again... its my first time spending time with someone i love mum.. yepp...

k la, i stop here.. talk too much alrdy.. exam coming... got to study... and tmr no sch... wheeeee.... bye...

I loVe IzZuDdiN... muacks!

2009-09-02T10:20:00.005+08:00

hello... its been a long time since i last updated... hmmm..

sat, my parents bdae... went serangoon to eat roti naan.. damn nice... seriously sooo good.. yummy... the service also good.. hehehe... n met my bro's fren, so hot! he is from india, looks like hindustan... gosh.... his gf look like arabian, so pretty... here are the pic.. look nice right? see la,now i hungry!

sunday went to work and end early, didnt sleep the night.. so i work like zombie.. my parents were at another shop, left me n bro, but my bro were sick, so i do the work alone.. i love it cos i get to cook alot of dishes... my pay also gerek for a half day like dat... than aftrnn meet izz for break fast... ate kfc... yum yum yum...

monday... teacher's day celebration.... didnt go sch cos lazy... hahaha... didnt even go back to my ex sch.. got personal reason... went to mit izz again to break fast with him... hehehe...

tuesday... was sick, i'm having flu... u didnt go out the whole day... i completed my NYAA gold report, like finally sia! total got 26 pages.. but i think need to add executive summary... so gg to total up to 30 pages! and all is ON MY OWN WORDS! no copy paste like all my other reports.. hahaha

i couldnt sleep last night, got irritated with my nose... was so hungry, went down to the shop at 5am to but maggie cup for me pre dawn meal.. izz wasnt sleeping too, so was on the phone w him when i went to the shop.. thanks hunny for the company, its freaking 5am!

today mitting izz again.. yay! plan to use lappy at lib, than go his hse for awhile than go sembawang Giant... yupp.. thats the plan.. yay, cant wait to meet my deary!!! ytd he made my day though we didnt meet.... i love him so so much... i'm gg crazy...

niways, here are the pic of food we ate on friday... the day i break fast at his hse... hehehe, refer to previous post...

till here.. bye!

i love izzuddin!!!! muacks!!!!

2009-08-28T22:49:00.004+08:00

heyhey... i had a great day today... start sch ay 10.. and ended at 10.45am... hahahaha gerek kan? cos my module ended, they let us off...

cos i ended super early, decided not to call izz.. i took the bus to wdlands w mar and nisa... than help mar at her shop at wdlands bazaar... yepp.. fun but hot...

than went to mit izz at his house at 3 plus... we lepak2.... hahaha, than go out at 5.. he wanted to parkour and we wonder arnd... we went to wdland mart n buy some food for break fast.... got back to his hse at 6 plus.... we start to cook for our break fast... we cooked alot of food... got prata, cheesy hot dog and hot dog puff... yum3...

we cook and lay it out in his room cos we scared that his dad might come home by surprise.. but luckily he didnt... so we ate until bloated... hhahaha.. we watched his fav show avatar and than watch soccer match...

i had a great day with him.... his mum ask me to come over for break fast tmr we them but too bad i cant make it cos i'm working...

niways ytd i break fast with izz... he cooked hot dog puff for me and i bought packet rice at the bazaar.. n guess where we break fast? at a void deck... hahhha...

these days i'm filled with so much happiness and laughter... with my friends and izz around me, i cant be happier.. i thank god for that...

k la.. i go now... bye.. i post the pic another day...

i love IZZUDDIN so much...

2009-08-27T14:20:00.003+08:00

heyhey... i had a good morning today.. i like my morning today.. hehehehe

hmm, first start... we were late of cos, but who cares... niways took the train but upon reaching jurong, it stop for quite some time n wasted everybodies time but not mine.. hehehe... cos, i dunno y, suddenly got so many hot and cute guys around.. me and mar cant stop looking around... so shiok... train towards clementi also stopped alot of time... seriously got good view.. woohhooo.. hahahaha

than we reach clementi, nigel and irfaan.. we took the bus togather, than mar tap nigel from the back and he turn... waliao, his face super blur.. hahhahhhaa... funny!!! was laughing like crazy in the bus...

than on the way to sch... i was walking w mar... suddenly got one boy run out of the bush... hhahahahaha... mar got shock of her life.. that one i cannot take it... funny like crazy.. i cant stop laughing all the way to sch... hakhakhakahak... mar buat lawak ah pagi2 puase ni... hahhaha..

i was like so happy in sch.. during lunch break, we got no where to go, we sat outside banking hall and sit on the floor.. we were like joking like mad.. hahahah... sat in banking hall, we watch Monster vs Alien in courtesy of fath... hehehe..

i had a great day la today.. not so stress anymore... had so much fun with my friends... wheee...

niways tmr lagi shiok... my sch start at 10.. woohhhooo.... can sleep in another 2 hrs cos sch was suppose to start at 8... yay2!.... wheeee...

n today i'm gg to break fast with my hunny bunny... woohhhoooo... yayayayaya!!! hakhak... i mean izzuddin la... haha... i cant wait to meet him cas ytd i didnt meet him... hehehe.... but thanks to him ytd we talk otp all the way to 6 plus, gg to break fast... hehehe... thanks dear for keeping my afternoon busy and forgot abt my hunger.... heh... i love you dear....

last night watch OKTO animal night... i think its called Eating Frenzy... its about the wild lion from africa... damn its so scary.. so huge and strong... if got one punch from them, confirm die on the spot... than izz said, no need to wait to be punched, u hang there as the meal and the lion roar at you, u will die of heart attack... hahahaha.. the show is so cooll.. i like...

k la, i better go now... niways i saw this video so funny... here you go... enjoy!!!

hahhahah.. funny right? come laugh with me... bye...

I LOVE IZZUDDIN

2009-08-26T10:26:00.002+08:00

heyhey... sorry bout ytd post.. dun worry ppl... i think i'm suffering from mild depression... it just come and go without warning... i dunno i got so stress these days.. i got to have faith n trust in me... hahhaa

no worries, ytd i had so much fun... aft went wdlands library with mar to study for our up coming exam... suddenly sera n her bf came.. hahaha, so we studied togather and left at abt 5.30pm... we break fast at the bazaar.. i eat good food... yummy.. hehhee...

aft breaking fast, went to mit izz, he was breaking fast with his family at causeway point... he and his mum ask me along but i dun want la... scared, got his dad and his sis also.. hehhe... niways it his sis bdae ytd... happy 19th birthday radziah...

it felt good meeting him cos i was missing him like crazy... we didnt meet for 3 freaking days! hmm, we spent time at the library for awhile... than went into causeway point and go into the bazaar... we than walk to adm... missed alot of bus... i told him when his bus come, i go take the train instead cos i'm scared he tired.. but guess what? he told me not to take the train and wait for my 969 to come so we can spent time a lil longer.. hehehe...

i was missing him like crazy.. i guess the reason why i got so depress is when i dun meet him... hahahahah... i love izzuddin sooo mmuucchhh.. hehehe

k la, i go now... bye..

2009-08-25T12:00:00.001+08:00

heyhey... was suppose to mit either izz or constance for break fast yesterday.. i was in no mood and decided not to meet anyone... i had my break fast at home alone...

i had a horrible evening ytd... haiz.. i just feel being alone... please leave me alone and dun ask me whats my problem.. i would like to keep it personal...

bye... thanks..

2009-08-24T14:38:00.007+08:00

heyhey.. my aunty post my pic when i was younger... here you go..

i was bored... took pic during lunch hour..

2009-08-24T10:23:00.002+08:00

heyhey... its shooo coldd here... i'm in class... hehe

niways over the weekend i didnt meet izz cos its fasting n i'm kinda bz.. ytd went to work... okok la...

niways the past two days, ive been eating extremely alot during break fast... seriously alot, eating alot more than usual.. ytd break fast at my aunt hse, everyone was there.. the food is crazy, so damn ALOT!!! woohhooo... got murtabak, sheperds pie, mee hoon goreng, fried chicken, mee rebus, finger food and dessert also alot... wow.. the fried chicken, well, i ate most of it while everyone busy catching up w each other... hahaha.. ppl stop eating, i stilll can continue... i dunno y, i just feel like eating... oh man, i'm so gg to gain weight... but the weird part is right, my aunt say i've lost so much weight by looking at me... hmmmm... hahahaha...

i have been hyper these days... i'm just happy and got very noisy and chirpy till ppl can sae, 'mas, happy nye kau' hahahaha.. i'm happy with wat i have and enjoying my life as much as i can...

niways, family condition... i'm speechless... its getting complicated and hard... but than again, thank god we stood strong to fight to go through this difficult time... when i say difficult means its really difficult.. not gg to reveal what happen but we are in dark and difficult times... i got to keep my head up high and do as much as i can... right now, the situation is so stressful that we are at the edge and this close to give up.. i dunno what kind of give up... but at situation like this, i hope itsnot giving up on life... maybe they will stay strong to help each other out... but i'm afraid that both my parents cant take it anymore and burst into worst situation.. i just pray to god that He will not bombard us w anymore trouble... on my part, i can only be the one to listen and keep them calm.... i love my family, and i hope after these heavy and thunderous storm, we will see the rainbow... this is the time i got to be with my family... as frustrated as we r, we r still holding strong... i'm not gg to complain, but i'm gg to thank god for his greatness cos i noe for sure he does this for a reason... god please help us...

i'm suppose to meet izz for break fast today.. i dun think i'm able to do that with my current situation.. its getting bad... haiz.. not gg to reveal what is the matter but it might keep me and izz apart.. haiz... i got to see how first, he wanted me to go over to his hse today to break fast with his family... family means with his dad and all.. but i dun think i'm ready for that... an introduction the whole family.. not now when i'm ion bad situation.. maybe later.. soon... but i noe he is gg to persuade me cos i;f not, i'll be breaking fast alone at home... haiz... gosh.. its hard...

thanks to my cousin and izz, i got to talk to them about the problems and got to let out my troubles... i love you guys...

izz, i miss you so much, i hope i'm able to meet you today but situation is bad... haiz... i love you so much... i cant ask for more... i cant not mit u in a day cos i'll start thinking and has doubts.. izz, i love you so much...

k la, i gtg... i need to go to the, u noe, argh, i need to piss... ahahahah.. bye...

2009-08-22T14:39:00.002+08:00

hello everyone.... its fasting month... happy fasting everyone!!!!

i dunno wat to blog.. i just need to kill some time... not working today and i cant meet izz cos its fasting month... i cant call him cos my ppd low... sian.. i really dunno wat to do and i'm bored... this may seems weird but i'm missing izz already...

i love izzuddin... i dunno wat else i can say but i really love him so much.. i hope happiness will last forever... its abit hard cos i'm a believer of happiness does not last forever.. but look on the bright side, i am happy with him... for now and for ever i will love him... may sounds foolish but it seems hard not to love him aftr gg tru things we've been tru.. i dunno wat god has in store for us but i'm hoping that the bond between me and izz has created would keep us strong and forward... i'm worried all the time but i'm just glad to know that i'm always in his heart and he is always on my mind.. saying isnt enuf, just got to let it out... i love izzuddin even if he is in his crappiest mood... for 1 thing i noe there is more things coming ahead of us and we dun noe wat would it be... just hoping that no matter wat happens, we will still be togather....

niways i made this for him for our 6th mth... not really completed though... it just came up to me one night while i was doing my video editing for my project and i create it on the spot... yepp... but i'm sorry.. i cant seems to upload it here...
ok.. i go now.. bye...

i love Izzuddin

2009-08-21T20:31:00.002+08:00

heyhey... went for the doctor's appointment ytd with izz.. its a great new cos i'm fine already... the bacteria infection did not hit my kidney... only thing is to finish up my med and go to the skin centre for a follow up...

hmmm... things arent gg smooth these days.. i was just hoping that my whole family will endure all this trouble and stay strong.. haiz.... fasting starts tmr and new shedule is cuming up... i hope everyone can cope w it.... dear god, please help us through this difficult time...

i'm so greatful that i have izz by my side all the time when i'm in trouble... been out w him everyday... the other day went to watch 'UP'.. so cute and lovely... i love it... than we went around town and took the bus back to yishun...

we have spent alot of time togather this week, seriously... hahahaha... i can never be bored w him... got a lil crazy and kinda went over board... we learnt to tolerate and get over it.. hahaha, made him pissed for a while, but he cool off and made me smile again... he never fails to make my day...

things has gotten better between the both of us... i'm so fortunate for that... i love him so much and i felt its never enuf by just telling him... he is my everything... he is like my bantal busuk! hahahaha... i just cant get enuf of him... i want to be in his armpit... ahahhaa... wat am i crapping?? i'm getting crazy these days... izz is my witness, more like he is the one who diagnosed me with crazy disease and it is infectious that it is infecting him too... hahaha...

niways, on my way back home from miting him, i took the bus 969.. i sat at the back row.. at the other end, there is a couple of matreps... i was minding my own business... they suddenly got fidgity and so jumpy... i heard they say "go ask la" and than 1 of them call a their friend who sitted infront... all like so excited... suddenly one of his friends ask me.. "kak, are u attached or single?" i smile and say "i'm attached"... hahahahaha... they so paiseh... funny, they should be paiseh to call me "kak" to begin with... idiots... watever...

k la, i better go now... bye...

2009-08-19T09:56:00.002+08:00

heyhey... been sleeping in the living room lately cos the newly wedd took my room cos they havent got their new home... its understandable... i like it in the livivng room... dunno y feel so cosy... thnk god the tv is spoilt so my "room" is quiet and the whole living room is mine... cos i spent most of my time alone in the room last time, now, i always come home late and when i get back home, i do my stuff and go to sleep... its amazing how comfortable and how fast i fall aslee in the couch... when i'm in the room, i couldnt sleep that easily... i love my life living in the living room.. i became more purposeful cos i dun idle and daydream not doing anything anymore... hahahaha... wat crap am i talking.. its true ppl say i'm getting weirder everyday...

niways ytd had NAPFA test... had fun this time round... went for the 2.4km run... cool la, i find that the journey not as long as previously... i made it through.. yay... its over and done with finally...

ended napfa so early and continue do project at clementi maccy which happens to be ilah's bf workplace.. cos he is a rider, so we were looking at him as he is sitting w the rest of the rider, the rest all tot we were looking at them n they kept looking inside and look at us.. one of them caught my eyes.. hahahaha... watever...

i left at 12 and went to izz homey... was so tired, i fall asleep.. so good to sleep in his arm.. so warm and nice... we left at 4 for SOCCER!!!wooohhhoooo... had so much fun.. aft a while we decided to play at the field infront of his hse... i ran arnd like crazy... he is nt tat active cos he just recovered... was having fun than got one cat came and spoil the dat by pooping in the middle of the field... argh... idiot...

we stop playing than go to his hse to change, talk to his mum for a while and left... we walk at the pasar malam.. and he decided to walk me to 969 bustop... wheeee.... than i went home at 8pm...

today gg to watch movie with him... yay!!!! hmmm, tmr i have appointment for check up at TTSH.. its at 10., so i gt to skip sch... izz promised to accompany me since my mum cant make it...

this morning in the bus... i dunno y suddenly my mind drift n thought of my late bro who left less than a yr ago.. when i thought of him, i cried, i tried to hold back, but it came rolling down.... haiz... i miss him so much.. i wish he was still here to witness the wonderful wedding... to help me out to make cookies for hari raya that is coming up soon, he always come to help me out... abg, i really missed you... all i could offer right now is 'al-fatihah'... i wish him peace in heaven...

k la, i go now... i'm so hungry... i miss my bro and i love izzuddin so much... bye...

2009-08-17T10:04:00.000+08:00

Above all that happened this whole mth, we both endured and gave support to each other, he was there for me when I was sick by all means that he could afford… and I did my best to be by his side and take care of him when he was sick.. I thank god he is recovering and not in pain anymore… I thank him for the comfort he have given me when I need it the most… this mth, is the test of how much we cared for each other… I guessed we have proved it to each other… I’m glad we made it this far… and I swear to god that I love him with my deepest sincerity..

When he was on my lap, he was almost in tears, he said “thank you for being here.. I’ve troubled you and I have never made you happy” I couldn’t say anything, I just hug him tighter and kissed his forehead.. to me, he was never a trouble.. I love him and that mattered the most… he is a part of me and can never be taken away.. no matter how many times we fight, at the end of the day, we both noe how important our existence for each other… no matter we celebrate our 6th month or not, this month endurance and test is a gift of time and opportunity for us to show how much we cared and loved for each other, I guess that’s the best gift we could offer… I thank god for all that has happened.. I always believed that everything happens for a reason…

I love izzuddin from my deepest to the rock bottom of my heart..

2009-08-17T09:44:00.000+08:00

Heyhey.. been busy with school, didn’t have the time to update my blog.. sorry… niways, here are the update for last week..

Wednesday…
went to sch was bomb with so much work, more like project… ended sch early, so I went over to mar’s place and do project at her house… ended at 6 plus, met izz since her hse is near to his hse… spent some time and went off..

Thursday…
went to sch as usual but left at 1 for my medical check up at the National Skin Centre at Novena… the doctor was mad at me for leaving the hospital early, I could at least done the biopsy for tissue sample or rather skin sample of the rash for investigation. By the time I went to meet him, the rash is counted dead as it has blackened and painless… told me to keep a watch and if new lesion come, I have to make an appointment and do the biopsy. He wants to make sure that it don’t occur again, in other for that, they have to make further investigation.. he told me to make sure to attend the appointment arranged for me on 20 August at TTSH. Again I had to do the blood test and urine test, damn it cost me $40! Haiz..

Niways after that went to woodlands to meet izz, had dinner than met mar to take back my lappy… we than head to the library to use the internet.. izz looked real sick by than.. we tried to keep it short than walk home… he walk me to a bustop than went off…

Friday..
went to school… and guess what? I was reading this book called The Man named Dave.. I was so engrossed and forgotten to call mar when I reached Admiralty mrt station… hhahha, so I just go off and meet her at clementi.. it was so funny and it was the second time… the first time was last yr when I was listening to my mp3 and total went into daze and completely forgotten about mar.. hahahha..

Sch ended before 12.. but my group is have roleplay at 4pm cos that is the only slot left… since I got so much time, I decided to go and meet izz as he is sick… I brought some medication for him.. reached his hse and discovered that his fever was real bad… i ate my lunch real quick and attend to him… we were on the couch and he lay his on my lap. I took a bowl of iced water and towel. I put the freezing cold wet towel on his forehead… wiped his extremely hot body and his neck, I didn’t leave his side… his temperature shoot up to 39.. I was so worried.. I make sure he feel comfortable.. I kissed his forehead and make a move at 3 to go back to school for the roleplay… just before I left, he vomited in the toilet, the more I couldn’t leave him.. thank god he understand my situation…

At night, he called me and was moaning in pain to the point that his voice shivered.. I was so worried that I cried… he was vomiting while on the phone… I couldn’t sleep and was checking on him every now and than for his condition.
I felt so helpless, I felt like running to him.

I was suppose to work in the morning but I asked permission from my mum if I could come in the afternn…

Saturday….
As soon as I wake up, I called him… went to meet him and bring him to marsling polyclinic in the morning… I fetch him at his void deck, he looked real bad, I was scared that he might drop dead from the pain he is in… as we walk, he vomited occassionaly.. he got real pale, was in so much pain to the point he had to squeeze my hand. When we reach the polyclinic, we walked in the rain, it was so inconvenient to go to that polyclinic… I was so worried, I didn’t care the risk of sickness that might hit me, I hugged him cos he was cold… I wanted to do everything to make him feel better; I wished I could take away the pain…

I went into the room together with him, he wanted me to come with him… doctor said he is having high fever and prescribed him with all sorts of medication and got 1 week mc… we took the bus to wdlands, I waited for 913 with him, I wanted to accompany him home, but I was late for work, he didn’t mind and he assured me that he can make it home on his own… gave him a good tight hug and a kiss on his forehead and leave.

Took the train to yishun and took 39 to pasir ris. Worked was tiring but worth it… went home so late..

Sunday…
I followed my parents in the morning… so tired but for my parents sake, I dun mind sacrificing my weekend for them…

Aft work, took the bus and meet izz at admiralty.. it is 160809… marks 6 mth being together… we had dinner and spent time on the walk… we didn’t really really prepare anything since we were caught up with so many things… me being sick for weeks, hospitalised, indon wedding, he being so sick, me w my sch work and my work.. its all so hectic… I did do something but have nt shown to him yet..

Niways his condition is better, no more fever n vomiting… he can eat and is recovering.. I thank god for that… cos I’m busy in the next few days, we decided to celebrate our 6th mth by watching movie on Wednesday cos I end sch pretty early… wheee, got free movie tix cos I won the national day pledge message…

ok, i go now.. bye..

2009-08-14T08:46:00.012+08:00

heyhey.. here are some of the photo's during my bro's wedding at Bogor, Jakarta on 9 August 2009...

2009-08-12T17:26:00.003+08:00

heyhey... this is the pic when i'm in the hospital..

2009-08-11T22:03:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. have not updated for a week already.. wow.. hahhaaa... ok... here u go... had an eventful week last week...

monday
went to sch for a while in the morning... than by noon, i cant take it, i decided to go off on see the doctor.. i was so sick, throat hurts, so sore and was coughing and was having flu... so i reached there at 12.30.. but was told to come back at 1.30.. irritating sia! on my way to te doctor, i discovered that my leg all the way below my knee to ankle was covered with red spots, i was so shock... so i went to the polyclinic... he said that the spots is probably due to the fever i had which was 39.0 that friday and on and off fever after that...got 5 days mc again... another 5 medication again...

after that went to meet izz at his home... he was shock to see my leg, than he make me wash my leg with soap... he dried my leg with towel and infront of the fan and than he wipe it with alcohol swap... he was no even disgusted with my skin condition... than he lent me his jeans so that i can go out without showing off the spots.

tuesday

i was at home the whole day resting... was so sick and tired... but i went to my parents shop at pasir ris in the evening...

wednessday...
went to meet izz and rested at his place... i felt better, so i went to play soccer, just kicking the ball around, but i got so hyper.. haha... and guess what, at night, my leg hurts like hell.. i mean the spots... it got super red and swallon by the min.. izz was mad at me for not gg to the doctor again abt the mysterious spots...

i was suffering the whole night.. was crying and couldnt take the pain.. i tot of gg to the doctor at night, but bcos of the family's situation, decided to endure the pain till morning at least.. i couldnt sleep at night... i sleep at 5plus...

thursday...

called my mum in the morning, i couldnt take the pain anymore.... mum left the shop with dad to take me to the doctor... dad drop us off at polyclinic... waited for 2 hrs to see the doctor and guess what? the refered me to the hospital cos i was in a severe condition... my leg was so swollen and red... i was limping and crying...

so we took the cab and had lunch first at our area... ppl there who knew us said it looked bad... some suggested to look out for supernatural reason, some advised to eat certain traditional med and some told me i might have been poisoned... we went home for awhile to take some necesary stuff and took cab to the nearest hospital which is in this case is Tan Tock Seng Hospital.

i was crying and cursing any car that made the taxi slow down... reached TTSH, i was put on a wheel chair and wheeled to Accident and Emergency(AnE) unit... went in and a couple of doctors examine me..

was told that i dun have a choice but to be admitted in the ward, since i'm alrdy 19, i can be treated here n dun hae to be transfered to KKH...

the doctor said that my immune system too low and caused my leg to be like this.. the reason i'm in is that they worried that it might infect my kidney.. they took my blood for test and put me on drip... was warded abt 2 hrs later...

mom was there for me the whole day.. i was warded to ward 7C bed 84. my 3rd bro rushed to the hospital right after work.. than my dad came... told nana abt it and she was shock and came in in the evening... soon after, my granny and 1st bro came straight from the shop... everyone was worried... but i was enjoying the food.. hahah...they all sat around me and chat. i felt so warm. at night my aunt and uncle came and last visitor was adeq, my cuzzy... izz called me every now and than to check on me, on my condition.. he wanted to keep me company otp at night but my batt died... my leg hurts so much that had to be wheeled to the toilet... i had to pee every hour and need to do urine test..

my neighbouring bed is all the old patient who is bed ridden and looked like going to die... i was the youngest one... 3 on call doctor came to check on me... they take me off the drip nad took blood test again.. at AnE they took on my left arm, than at the ward, they took at my right arm.. guess what, they poke me 3 times than finally my blood come put.. idiot... pain... but i imagine my leg hurts 10 times worst... they also did H1N1 test on me where they took my dna from my nose and throat.. damn hurt... its negative... good...

friday

was waken up in the morning for bp test.. ahd breakfast than the team doctors came in... there were two of them.... they did a thorough check on me and asked me damn alot of question.. they couldnt confirm what is the problem cos they said its not a common case...

mom came in aft that... she was actually here since 8.30 but couldnt come in till abt 10am cos they doctors was making their rounds.. than tot of gg down with her but was told that i'm not allowed to walk arnd. mom went down alone to buy some toiletries....

the same doctor came in again with another doctor who looks more senior and more experienced. she she did all sorts of check on me... she finally said that its caused by my throat infection, my immune system is too low that i couldnt take the bacteria. that was why the spots came out. its infecting my blood. they still investigating my kidney..

mom came back, with toiletries and some snacks and she bought me teddy bear.. whee... aft awhile, anothe team of doctor came in... there were abt 10 doctors came to see me... i got scared.. hahaha.. they are now doctors and was intro abt the disease i have...

at noon the dermatologist came in to check on my skn condition... he said its a heat rash called purpura. i was told that i need to do a biopsy to take some skin sample for investigation.

than in the after noon another doctor came in, she is a student doctor... she had a chat with me talking about my condition, she is a nice doctor. we talked for an hour. than i had another blood test, this time round, they had to take it from my wrist.

no one came to visit cos all were so busy cos on sat my entire family is gg to indon for my bro's wedding... izz acc me on the phone the whole day cos he couldnt come, we were always interupted by the doctors and nurses.

by evening, i felt so sad that i cried for making the whole family worried and the fact that i cant make it for my bro's wedding, abg im. he called me, he asked me again about my condition. i was so upset and i knew he wanted me to be there for his big day.

i did some thinking and i decided to talk to the doctor so that i can be discharged. a couple of on call doctors came in... told them my situation. my parents came at 10pm... they decided to discharged me cos i was in stable codition. i was finally out at midnight, emergency case cos i need to catch the flight at 9am.

i was so lucky cos mum decided to take the dress from the tailor though initially i wasnt able to go. than my aunty who was suppose to make my dress finished on time though we told her to slow down as i gave the cloth last min.. i didnt have the time to buy my white attire for saturday event, thank god another aunty lend it to me which happens that its a perfect fit for me. wow.. i was so lucky.. than we went to eat at coffee shop, i was craving for murtabak and indian rojak. reached home at abt 1am...

izz was so mad and so upset with me cos i' gg to indon despite of my condition which is not fully recovered, he was so worried that i might get into worst condition. he was already planning to accompany me the whole day on sat since non of my family is in singapore... than his mum wanted to come aft work.. he was sick too... gosh, but its my bro's big day, he almost cancelled the wedding cos mum dun want to go, she wanted to be there for me and for him too... my family went through too many disaster and challenges cos of this wedding... so i had to go even if it risk my life... i was in bad terms with izz..

niways though the investigation did not complete, they dianosed me with Henoch Schonlein Purpura.

saturday

abg im postponed the flight for me cos he scared that it might be too rushed for me, he change it to 12 noon... but when we reached there, the flight delayed to 3pm... reached jakarta at 6pm... were late cos one of our lagguage went missing but found it at last.. niways togather with the groom, there were 25 of us.

we reached Bogor, Jakarta at 8pm.. we missed the saturday event, its a Sundanese tradition. its at 2 to 5 pm... he stayed at the hotel guest house, its a bunglow for the whole family. it belongs to Hotel Salak.

reached there, prepared the things for the big day, went to bed at 12 and got up at 5am.. had make up artist doll us up and leave the house at 7am. went to Hotel Salak for the wedding or in malay called Akad Nikah. its so nice and they had their wedding tradition displayed.

it ended at 12. everyone went for a quick shopping while i went to sleep as i as so weak cos i'm on medication.. at 2pm, the make up artist came and we get dressed and left at 5plus for the wedding dinner reception.

it was spectacular.. so lavish and amazing. i got aw struck at everything.. they had live jazz band and their wedding cake is 8 layers of cupcakes and topped with a cake.. its full of rosses and maroons..its so amazing, food is splendid, i cant describe how wonderful it was...

i wanted the brides bouquet so badly, nt that i want to get married next but i love the bouquet.. when the bride threw it, my cousin got it, but she gave it to me knowing that i wanted it so badly... it was messed up, but i filled it up with rosses on displayed and i brought it back to singapore..

reached our guest hse at 11plus... need to be ready by 4am and hit the road as we need to catch the flight at 9am...

me and my cousins didnt sleep, i transfered pics from everyone's cam... at 1 plus the newly wedd came to chill w us, but since the rest sleep, the 8 of us went out for supper at one of the street's coffee shop... ate bbq banana, and indo mee... sooo delicious... reach our guest hse at 3am, just in time for everyone to wake up..

monday..

we all got ready and hit the road at 4.30am... the trip is 2hrs... and reached at 6.30, so early but gd la, btter be safe than sorry... took the flight n reach singapore at noon... we went to chill for chat a coffeshop at changi road..

reached home at 3pm, talked to izz otp.. we we in mad terms, he was so upset w me for leaving in my condition... had tiffs and cried, in the end we meet at 8pm.. went to library, had dinner and met his mum for a while... went home at 10pm...

tuesday (today)

went to meet izz at 11am.. was suppose to go back to the hospital but they postponed it to a later date... rested at his hse, he cooked for me, again he cleaned my leg for me... we watched dragon ball... he made me feel so warm... i missed him like crazy cos we didnt meet for 4 freaking days...

k la.. i better go now... g to sch tmr... i miss everyone..

i love izzuddin like crazy.... hehehe.. his smell is my heroin...

2009-08-03T09:55:00.003+08:00

aku maseh sakit.... ouch...

i'm still sick right now... i came to sch though but i dun think i can take it, i'm gg back soon n see the doctor again... gg to miss lesson again.. haiz..

niways i baked mar a cookie letter M for her bdae... n becos i missed ilah bdae, i made one for her too... its from me and izz... actually the only reason i came to sch is to give mar the cookie... hahaha.. dun think i'm gg to tell her or else she will kill me...

ytd i went to meet izz at his area. on my way there i bumbed into his mum and his sis at yishun mrt... we chatted all the way... it was great talking to her... shared alot abt him and life... i think i fell in love with his mum already because we think alike.. izz said that me n his mum has same characteristic... hahahaha... niways made extra cookie for izz n his mum n sis... went wdlands sheng siong with izz to buy the cookie stuff.. yupp..

k la, i gtg.. i love izz so much.. aft the conversation with his mum, i see things at a different angle... mum noes best... i just love izz.... but i'm leaving soon...

2009-08-02T16:40:00.002+08:00

hey there.. guess what? i'm down with fever again. this month alone i'm sick for the 3rd time... i'm really weak...

i had fever since thursday night. by friday night, it got really bad that it shoot up to 39degree celcius. was so sick that my mum dun need to touch my forehead, she just touch my hand she could tell how bad it was. i went to meet izz after the interview, he cooked me pasta.. i fell asleep on the sofa and he could feel my body heat.. i went home taking the train, i was so dizzy and i couldnt walk straight.. i didnt attend the bbq party at ms chan house cos of my fever...

was suppose to work over the weekend but cos of my condition, i rested at home... i'm so sick and i got dizzy so easily.. when i sit or lie down, than i stand up, my head hurts.. my neck hurts too.. just that my head pounds real hard and dizzying... i better go see doctor by tmr.. i just want to go to sch to celebrate mar's birthday tmr....

niways, happy birthday to SITI MARDHIAH... wooohoooo.. 19 already huh sister... all the best and enjoy life... i'll be there for u always when you need me.. friends forever....

niways friday's interview went well... it was a two round group interview.. it was cool and not so nervous... made friends with the girls from different classes... they say they going to call us back for the second interview... niways on friday me and my mates were suppose to report there at 2 but we reached there supper early, 12.45... hahha... everything ended at about 4.... gerek kan.. than at night got high fever...

maybe i should consider going for an operation to remove my tonsil before it get worst and effect my life as it has taking its effect... but i guess i'll decide that after my bro's wedding next weekend... cant wait to go... but i dun want to leave izz behind...

love izz so much.. thanking for taking care of me on friday.. i was so weak... thanks for the food and comfort... it felt real good... i love you so much...

mum was worried cos she say i looked pale this morning... haiz... k la, i go now... bye...

2009-07-31T08:58:00.002+08:00

heyhey...

ytd was crazy for me... ended sch at 4pm... and than my teacher told me that today's interview will be at the company itself and have to dress formal... bagus, so the last min... i was panic!!! and the best part i need to complete my report go to library for internet connection to research on the company...

so i went over to mar's place, she wanted to lent me her formal attire... so aft sch i went w her directly.. but the attire doesnt really suite me... argh.. so i called my mum for solution, tot of gg to pasir ris meet at her workplace than go to mustafa centre cos scared shopping cemtre close cos late liao... than tot of gg to library first but i'll be late to catch my parents... so i decided to do the research today instead... than i took bus 39 to pasir ris... in the bus i took out my lappy and do up my report...

reach there my bro told me that he will bring me shopping at white sands and let my parents go home first... so me, my bro and his friend salien drove to the mall.. couldnt find any, so we decided to to go north point instead... i was doing my report... he drove real fast until i got headache.. by the time i reached north point, its already 9pm... so we went to G2000 nearest to entrance and its easy to find office attire... so he picked out the suitable one and give advise on office wear.. yay.. i pick one stripe white blouse... it cost $70! thank god got 40% discount so become $41... hahaha... yay.. he tot i'll be starting my attatchment soon so he wanted to bye me a few set.. but i told him my attachment will only start in october.. ahhaha.. ya... he is my bro and my sis too.. ahhaha...

went home and dashed my report and settle my resume and compile my certificates and everything... ya... i felt so sick.. my entire body hurts like hell.. it feels like i'm gg to catch fever and flu... so i took paracetamol and flu pill... i dun want to be sick and missed the interview... but when i wake up, it felt the same, still in pain.. i dunno if i'm nervous or was too stress ytd... i was too warried abt the interview and report.. in the end i go to sleep and forget abt the report, i dun want to risk the interview cos that is more important...

met izz in the morning to pass him my lappy... he was late and make me even more late for school... but it made me feel a bit better cos he gave me a hug and a kiss... right now i can feel my eyes burning... hope its not fever...

niways i went to sch with my office attire.. i put up my hair and make up.. wore contact lenses and panty hose... izz told me i looked good... and i wore heels... so, i'm good to go... if i take pic, i post it ok.. bye...

2009-07-30T14:18:00.002+08:00

heyhey!!!!! hahahha.. i'm sooo haappppyyy... hhehheheheh....

had a great day ytd with izzuddin... hahhaaa... met him... we played soccer and badminton.. than he train me for my coming NAPFA test... than went to his house met his mummy... me n his mummy chatted... so gerek until izz have to stop us.. hahaha, he tried to distract our conversation hhahaha.... i like talking to his mummy, she funny like her son... i found one secret abt him from him mummy.. so funny n cute.... hahhahhaha... i actually didnt want to bath, i tot of went up, meet her change clothes than go off cos scared might caught up with his daddy... but his mummy scolded me, told me to bath n not scared of his daddy.... but luckily he didnt come back that soon.... tmr his mum asked me to join her n izz to sheng siong to shop, but tmr i'll be very busy.. why everytime i have bbq, his mum have to ask me out.. i very much would love to go out with her but wrong timing...

niways after that me n izz went to sheng siong at marsling... he bought some ingredient that was suppose to surprise me.. hahahah... so i told him, i'll pretend i dunno anything.. hahaha... we bought otak2 than go off... we took the bus than go to adm area.. leapk n eat... than go home by mrt... ytd i eat alot.... at sch i ate nasi padang for lunch... than dinner with izz i eat chicken rice... than at nice we eat otak2, than epok2, than cheese fries.... alot seh.. hahaha... i eat alot when i'm happy... hehehe...

izz told me that his mum missed my shephards pie... i forgotten bout my pie.. next week when i'm free i'll make her the pie... niways i made brownies for my friends.. than i give some of it to izz n his mum... yupp... we chatted abt food.. hahaha...

niways my stitchy bank will not be the bank of anger and frustration but now is the bank of happiness and love.. yupp... dedicated only for izzuddin... i'm so happy with him ytd... i love him so much... he is part of my life... the one i cared so much...

niways i wont be meeting him today and tmr... i'm gg to be so busy... i need to complete my report by tonite cos deadline is tmr.. and tmr i have my industrial attatchment interview... argh!! thank god the interview is here in my sch... niways tmr evening i have a bbq party at ms chan house.. its probably our last class gathering before we all seperated for IA... i have to hand in 2 project by next week.... and the following week another 3.. mampos... argh... susah la seh...

i love izzuddin so much, i wish happiness will last forever... k la... bye... today i'm bad.. i dun bother abt class assignment.. well its not compulsory.. hahahahha.... sian weekend need to work.. now i guess the only time i can rest is when i have mc... hahhaha... okok, bye... i love my friends too... they matter to me too...

2009-07-29T10:15:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. i was on mc ytd... i had gastric attack the day before n couldnt sleep cos its so disturbing... so ytd afternoon went to polyclininc on my own... waited for 1 hr plus to see the docter who i think is not professional.. nvm bout that...

ytd niways ytd my stomach got better... but now it hurts again.... i'm hungry n it hurts... how come i got gastric?? i got eat what.. some ppl say its stress...

k la.. i go now... i need food... ouch... i love him so much.. sorry for being mean these days but its the fact...

2009-07-27T09:43:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. i'm so freaking tired... last friday, aft sch got roleplay n meeting.. n guess wat? my mum call me down for work, emergency cos no one turn up for work... so i took cab down to pasir ris n paid $20 bucks... i wore my polo t n skirt, damn its uncomfortable...

than on saturday... best.... izz work with me n my mum... hehehehe... had so much fun... was glad my parents liked him n they wanted him to come again on sunday.... tot of gg back on our own by bus.. in the end he agreed to take my dad's van... so my parents sent him home... yepp... wheeee....

on sunday.... he didnt come cos he was too tired... i can understand y.... but had a great time at work interacting with my customer... niways 90% of my customers r male n foreigner... hahahah... i cant believe how friendly n thoughtful these ppl can be.. i mean the bangla construction worker there.. they r really nice n funny ppl... even izz changed his perception abt them when he met them... they help my mum to cook bangla style so that it can suit their taste batter... so thoughtful arent they?

after work went to meet izz at wdlands n went to library... had an arguement... pretty bad... but i was ok after that... loved him so much.. he's my world... n i'm tired...

btw, today i have exam... i have not study cos was very busy with work over the weekend... hahahah.. i'm doomed... ok, i better go study now... bye...

izzuddin, i love you...

2009-07-24T08:59:00.003+08:00

heyhey... i had the sukiest morning... really hate my morning.. today really so sway! i mean really unlucky....

i woke up late... my hp prepaid finish to the very last bit, n i cant contact mar... waited for cab for abt 15min, even the bus i'm suppose to take is not there... reach mrt got stomach ache... left yishun at 7.30 n i need to be in sch at 8.. wow! super late... reach jurong east, guess what?? i missed 5 bloody train n it was damn pack! infact, the train tat i got in, i was pushed inside, really being squeesed... omg! really i hate it... took the bus than i reach class at 8.30.. i'm half an hour late.. great!! but thank god my teacher decided not to start class n didnt mark us late cos everyone was late.. n some of them still stuck in a jam everywhere... today really unlucky... i hope my afternoon wont be this bad or as bad as last nite... slept close to 4am!
huh!

but whatever it is, i thank god i made it to sch n thank god it rained so it will be cooler though it slowed everyone down... amin...

2009-07-23T12:53:00.003+08:00

done another quiz again... cool la... result so match... hahahah

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

love and your sweetheart

Your man is a lot of fun to be with. His talk is charming and because of this he always seems to be surrounded by girls. You'll just have to live with this and not let it bother you. If you let him know you're jealous, it's likely that he would turn his back on you without too many second thoughts. To be with him, you have to give him plenty of room to move, trust him, and allow him to be independent. You should also remember to be independent yourself. He enjoys going out to parties and likes you to have fun along with him too, so make the most of his love of life.

2009-07-21T11:46:00.003+08:00

i did a quiz... cool... hhahaha.. here it goes...

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Here is the analysis:
You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test80.aspx?q=b

2009-07-21T11:07:00.002+08:00

hey there... i'm in sch now... been bz today fuzzing over the resume cos today is the deadline n today also the destined company will get our resume.. hah!

i dunno y today, y heart hurts alot... i mean physically... it feels tired when it beats... i couldnt talk much, couldnt react n i got breathless easily.. infact sometimes when i breath, it hurts... ouch.. what is wrong with me? i feel weak n tired... ppl thought i'm moody cos of somebody but the fact is, my heart hurts right now... it is really painful like someone squeezing it... i guess i'm just tired...

went to mit izz ytd for awhile... had our meal n took the photo for my resume n went home... was home early ytd n i spend the whole evening doing my resume... finally, its completed...

k la, i gtg... really my heart hurting physically...

2009-07-20T14:33:00.002+08:00

i just got this from my face book... a 'fortune teller' says that "your great attention to detail can be a blessing and a cursed"... its so true i say... i do have the ability to seek out for details... its at my advantage on my academic side... but on another part of my life its really suck.. i realised so much details n i found out truth too soon before they could ever tell me... sometimes i hate to have instinct.. whats the point of living a life when u noe things before hand.. no fun it sucks, it hurts...

the worst part is i cant do anything at my position.. i can only hide myself n cry, be mad, be so upset.. cos for the fact that we cant change the fact.. its really sucks... right now, my situation is so trapped... i can do anything... i'm not in the position to do anything... i can be hurt... but to tell the person abt i felt? do they even care? am i gg to keep it to myself abt noeing the truth?

ytd i found out something... it hurts... but than i dun think i can do anything about it... i kept thinking abt it the whole morning while i was at work.. i got bad headache... when i meet them, i could only put up a smile n treasure the time i have with them.. but when i look away, i can only drop some tears n wipe it.. than i put up a smile n be 'happy'... its getting clueless.. its getting dizzying... i'm tired...

for now, to make myself focus on things i should be focusing is.. whenever i tot of the truth n get upset, i'll put a coin n my stitchy bank... than i wrote a letter abt my unhappiness n put it inside... until i find the right time, i tell them the truth... u noe, whenever i got upset or i feel so hurt n sick in my heart, i could feel my blood gushing through my veins in my palm n it gave a shock in my finger tips.. than my fingers will go numb for a while...

ppl told me i look sick n depressed.. this is probably cos of my great attention to details... though i found more n more details, i still couldnt let go... i am killing me... i hope they knew how i felt... i feel so dizzy right now... i dunno how or should i walk out of this situation... u guys mean so much to me to let go.... only they noe who i am refering to... maybe not abt who i'm refering to... i just want ppl to noe wat i'm experiencing right now... thats all..

2009-07-20T13:55:00.002+08:00

i'm going to end school in an hour time... well, i got to noe that all of us have a place for attachment... there are 4 companies... efusion, global marketing, bank of china n uni dunno what.. bank of china only recruit 4 chinese students... uni recruit only 5 females, efusion recruiting 30 n the rest will go to global marketing... n i am sent to efusion... the sucks part of it is, none of my friends will be with me... they r all at global marketing... sian!!! but hey at least i got a place for attachment... thank god.. niways all three companies accept bank of china is a call centre... my company will be at raffles place... mon to fri, 9am to 7pm.. the gerek part is... my company got damn alot of break in a day... at least 4 breaks for a day.. cool huhl.. basic pay is 400, internship what, what can u expect... n if i hit high sales target, i will earn commission... but than, i heard call centre's job is tough... well, i got 5 month attachment, gg to find out what's it like there... just did my resume, gg for the interview for the job is next month i think.. shit! i'm scared, but this friday we have interview training.... they even plan to have make up course.. make up to look professional... yupp... wish me all the best k ppl.. bye...

2009-07-20T10:21:00.003+08:00

hey there peeps.... been busy over the weekend with work n stuff...

have not mention that my parents just had another foodstall running at another construction site n now that makes it 3 stall for now... may not be good profit for now but for future earnings, the future is bright... the new stall is at pasir ris... its the construction of livia condominium... another 5 year project..

i've been working there.. it was great.. got to make the place stable first before leaving to fully just facilitate than handling on our own... so, on sat, i was working at pasir ris.. lots of work though so many workers... tiring... but fun cos all of us will work hrd to end everything by 8pm... got my pay n feel happy... hahaha... than on sunday which is yesterday, i went to work at the other stall, at pasir panjang.. the labour management sucks cos the fella who suppose to turn up for work just basturd us.. asshole.. yupp, make us all work double n fucking tired... but well, work n the pay i got is fulfilling.. so no complain though it may seem a dirty or filthy job... but it is damn well my family earning and hard work.. its my family blood n sweat to tears... its my damn well family business... hah!

so... on sat met izz after work... he came down to wdlands, he said he wanted to give me sumthing... so went for dinner, hang arnd for awhile than got to go cos i got work the next morning.... niways i bought his mum bandito cos izz told me she was craving for it... yupp...

than yesterday izz fetch me from harbour front... izz, i'm so sorry for making you wait damn long for me to finish my work... well, we have a bad situation that was we end kinda late... what do u expect, at pasir panjang only me n mum doing all the work, my dad had to got to pasir ris to replace that idiot who didnt turn up... over there is just my bro n granny n they need help cos they haveto sell drinks too... so u noe y we were late.. so sorry.. hahak

niways we had lunch at maccy... than went to GV to buy ticket to watch HARRY POTTER!!!!!! wohooo... we got 3 hrs b4 e movie cos earlier tix are fully booked... we went arnd n we found STITCH!!!! cute giler... i bought it for myself with my own earning, i hardly do that.. izz wanted me to pamper myself for once... hahaha.... than we lepak at the rooftop...

movie end at 10 plus... we took the bus to wdlands, than i took the train to yishun n took cab cos its soo late n i'm tired... i reached home 2 min b4 midnite.. hahahha... damn tired...

k la, i stop here... here is the pic of my cute little stitch...

2009-07-17T22:13:00.002+08:00

heyhey... wat a day... didnt mit izz today for some reason... went to yishun library at abt 6 n by 8 plus my lappy batt flat n no plug is free.. tot of gg civic mac to continue work... but izz dun let me go alone... he told me ask mar to acc me.. i called her, she say go her hse better since her parent not at home... yupp... so here i am.. yay!!!! done my research... thanks mar!!!!

i got to settle this by today cos weekend i will be working... so got no time... haiz... my mock test postponed to monday... ass.... sian ah.... i'm freaking tired....

izz mum invited me over for dinner cos she cook the food that i crave for... fried satay... yummy... but i cant go cos i got to do this research..

k la bye....

2009-07-17T09:27:00.002+08:00

heyhey... today gonna be a short post... not really in the mood to blog anw...

had a sudden migrane attack ytd while i was with izz... took madication n went home early...

school work load.... wow
- resume
- banking op assignment, research on telegraphic transfer, traverlers cheque and priviledge banking in local and overseas bank.
- today got a sudden mock test for banking op.... shit!
- principle of commerce, 2 prject due in 2 weeks
- banking op role play in 3 weeks... shit man!
- customer relationship management project due in 3 weeks... sian!
- principle of commerce final CA exam in 2 weeks time!!!! fuck man!!!

haiz... i want to get iver and done with this bloody semester... so much work load... n yeah, next semester will be another hell shit hole... its attachment semester... its gg to be an experience in hell for abt 6 fcuking mth... yeah man...

just hoping that my personal problem wont affect me this final semester... just got to learn to balance my timing.. arghhhh!!!!!

izz, i'm sorry abt ytd... i love you so much... lets look forward to a better 6th month...

2009-07-16T13:10:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. its been such a long time since i've updated... hahahah... today is my first day of sch from that one week mc... thanks everyone for the concern... i'm fully recovered.... i can go back to sch early but my family dun allow me... yupp...

its my first day n work load is piling already... damn it... got tons of assignments n project.. damn its killing me already... haiz...

so during my sick leave, i went to work to kill time n besides, they short of worker.. yepp, damn tiring like crazy... 6am to 8pm... hah! on tuesday izz came to work with me... yepp... was great to have him around helping me at work.. its a family business.. my bro is there too.. by dinner time, both my parents n my granny is there.. so he met everyone... cool yea?? at least i feel better working woth him around though its damn tiring...

ytd had a day off... mum told me to rest... so at 1oam went to izz hse n guess wat? we continue to sleep... hahahah... than in the afternoon we went to watch Hauting in Connetticut. nice... love it...

niways today is me n izz special day.. it is our 5th monthsarry.... wheeee!!! was suppose to watch harry potter today but i end sch late... so decided to watch it next week.. yay... niways i made something for him... i made him brownies.. hehhehe... first time sia! hope he likes it... than i bought a container n paste stickers on it.. the stickers are Stitch n Ben 10... hehehheee.... just need him to noe i love him soooooo mmuuucchhh...

things have been good between us... less arguement... learn to give and take.... things has gotten way better than previously... i love it now... i love him always.... my mum said that he is good looking... no izz is not only someone i love so much... he is a part of my life... ytd i went to shop at nite alone.... walking alone made me feel so stupid cos he is not by my side... every nite as i lay to sleep, i was glad that i met him and went tru all the ups and downs... we have been tru alot.. we made mistakes, we shed blood n tears... we shared laugther n happiness... even if he made me cry, i love him for who he is and except his mistake as a learning point.... really he is my life.... love him so much... i dun care what our status are right now cos it doesnt make any different... he is my life... i love him so much... he's been great, i saw his effort to make me happy n smile everyday...

so ltr i'm gg to meet him for awhile n pass the brownie to him.. yay! bye.. got to do my sch stuff now... bye...

2009-07-10T13:18:00.002+08:00

heyhey... i'm on 1 week mc from yesterday... i had tonsil again for the second time in a year... had fever the night b4 i went to polyclinic... my family scared that i might get swine flu.. but actually its cos of tonsil...

tis time round the swell is not as bad as previously cos i went to the doctor immediately unlike previously i only seek a doctor when its really in bad condition... when i told the doctor that its the second time, he was shock.. cos he said normally ppl will get tonsil once a year... if i get it again or i'm not recovered within a week, i might need to go for operation to remove the lump..

so for now, got to make sure i dun get too heaty... especially better not get fever... need to cool down n take care of the swelling in my throat... they gave me 6 type of med...

k la, i stop here... will update maybe when i go to sch.. bye..

2009-07-08T10:26:00.001+08:00

this is the soccer ball we bought last week... nice??

2009-07-08T09:32:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. goodmorning everyone... not feeling too good right now... my throat hurts.. probably cos of lack of water.. hmmm... my fault for not drinking enuf..

ytd... day 1 not meeting izz... him... sux... ended sch freaking early... went straight home, change n went to bed since i didnt have enuf sleep... i purposely avoid myself from calling him but i was holding it n checking my phone every min... i dream abt him when i was sleeping, guess i'm missing him alrdy knowing the fact that we r not to meet or contact each other... suddenly i woke up cos my phone rang... n guess what??!!! izz called!!! i knew it... we talked n decided to meet... hahaha... i cant bring myself not meeting him for a day... i'm too pampered by him i guess...

so went to meet him wdlands... was so hungry cos i havent had my lunch, so we ate kfc.. we than went to library to use my lappy... i took a book called Art in History... i was like pointing out those ancient artpiece that have face n relate it to izz... hahhaha, funny shit... i dun mean it of cos... he knew i was joking n full of nonsense so he wouldnt mind... he noes i'm i can be very merepek when i'm boredn happy... hhahaha.. he seen worst of me b4.. hahahhaha.. fun...

than we went to ljs cos he was hungry... bought the chicken bonanza... aft eating, we went to the pasar malam... than he saw my favourite cartoon.. stitch... hehehehe... soo cute la... hahhaha... niways izz didnt feel good, he was falling sick.. so i decided to acc him for his bus to come than i went home by train... yepp..

hahaha... afterall our stupid deal is off abt not meeting each other until 16... sch gg to end by 12 today.. freaking early.. gg to spend time w him at his home ltr cos he said he lazy to go out... yepp... i love izzuddin laaa.... love him so much... i was silly, i told him the best gift from him right now if he can at least detech his arm n give me... so that i can hug to sleep... hahaha... i love his new haircut... looks neat on him.. argh.. i want izz now, i missing him already... god, its hard to be seperated from him even for a day... gg indonesia next month for 3 days... i cant bare to leave him.... nooooo.... i wish i can bring him along... sian.... i better stop here b4 i brag abt him...

bye... i love izzuddin so much... i want to be in his armpit n sleep... ahhahaha.. siao...

2009-07-07T11:13:00.002+08:00

hmmm... things have change... as usual me n izz squabble like ducks everyday... we decided not to meet for the next 9 days... until its 16 which is our 5th mth than i we can meet... gg to watch harry potter n i want make him a brownie.. hmmm... just need him to noe that i love him so much.. bye...

2009-07-07T10:32:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. goodmorning peeps... i'm in sch n finally i can update all those days thats i didnt update... niways, to fix my int prob is to pay the bill.. hahahah.. my abg la malas...

niways last 6 days, been out to do asian youth games duty.. mine is morning shift from 7.30 to 1pm... i did information counter at orchid country club... it was kinda near to my hse but need to walk damn far... so, easy solution... take cab... biase la masturah.. hahahhahah... my job is freaking boring nak mampos!!!!! hahahahha... seriously i am wasting my bloody time gg for that stupid job... cos i already volunteered n its my commitment, i just went la... i dun want to eleborate but really its fucking boring... i bring along my book n i read until finish... luckily its morning, i can meet izz in the aftnn... yepp... hah...

update abt me n izz.. status still the same.. meet still meet as usual.. infact met him like everyday... we recently bought a soccer ball.. we share our money... cost $25... gerek... its adidas, this yr version, south africa worldcup match.. next time i post the pic... than few days later we bought badminton racket, the cheap one of cos.. we were bored, so try out badminton... of all the sports the we tried, badminton is the best, we had a great match... ytd played with him... i won.. hahahahaha... we played for like 3hrs.. hahahaha... best la...

so far, me n izz have played sports... parkour, soccer n badminton... next we planned to try out swimming.. but got to save money to buy myself a swim suit... than he want to teach me play tennis when we have the chance... hmmm... any other suggestion of what sports to play? cycling? hmmm, we dun own a bike... bowling? expensive... hmmm..

now i dunno what else to update.. was suppose toi have sw soon.. but cancel.. soooo, i can go home!!! its only like 11 plus... wah! bye...

2009-07-05T19:24:00.008+08:00

heyhey.. heheheh.. long time nvr update... had a great day today with izz... made something special for him... cos i feel like it... hhahahah...

he came down to yishun... we went to the library than had lunch at ljs... it was raining, but we just took the bus to the Bottle Tree park... hahahha.. we were drench cos walk in the rain.. there we sat at the shelter infront of the water.. it was raining heavily.. hahahha... than walk arnd... best... had a great time cos i love nature... yupp...

than we went to this park at sembawang... it was best.. seriously love the nature... the playground also shiok... hehehhee... its raining though... hahahah...

the rain gets heavier... so we walk to sunplaza, in the rain.. hahahah.. now here we r at maccy... yupp.. basically today is abt nature n rain... n now we r wet... hahaha.. here r the pic... btw, he just cut his hair.. hahhaha... bye..

2009-07-02T15:54:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. sorry have not been updated.. my internet is down... hahahha...

niways dun worry guys i'm fine now, no more flu...

been busy with izz n asian youth games...

will update soon when my internet ok already...

now i'm at the library w izz....

k la, take care ppl... bye...

p.s... izz, i love you no matter what....

2009-06-27T05:58:00.002+08:00

its way past 5am n i'm still not asleep.. it hurts alot.. my nose, my head, my stomach, my eyes, my heart n my soul... i guess i better take my flu pill b4 i go crazy.... got to swim into fantasy so that i can drown myself to sleep... i hope when i wake up, i feel better physically n emotionally.. been tru it b4 n i shud be strong... gosh, this time, i'm really sick i guess... but i dun think i'll go to the doctors... argh, my head n eyes hurts... bye...

i want to be in his cuddle again to fall asleep... love izz so much...

2009-06-27T03:26:00.002+08:00

haiz.. i feel so sick right now n i cant sleep...

apart from being sick, something is bothering me... it keeps pinching my heart whenever i think abt it.. i cant sleep in peace.. i'll be on the edge all the time when something came out n it will always keep coming..its haunting me every night... y cant my life be just simple n the end? y all my happiness n joy will always end up in tears at the end of the day.. y r some ppl so selfish n never thought of the big picture.... wat do i do to deserve this shit? endure? how to? endure n fall sick so many times... its too late to turn back time...

i hate to laugh cos at the end of the day, i'll cry.. the harder i laugh, the painful my cry would be.... some ppl say its just my mindset.. but how come it happens all the time?

should i go see the doctor later? maybe not.... i'll see how my condition first, well its getting worst by the min... god please tell me its not swine flu... my nose is like a high tide water tap.... argh, my head hurts... if i'm not asleep by 5am, i'll take those pills...

2009-06-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

this morning i heard the most shocking news... i really couldnt believe what i heard... Micheal Jackson passed away this morning... i cant believe it... may u rest in peace King Of POP.... here is the tribute for him...

2009-06-26T23:09:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. today i went to work.. its an emergency cos 2 of the worker take urgent leave n my bro went to indonesia... work was tiring but good cos sales rise double than usual.. hahah... but i got sick n i'm feeling sick by the min... i'm having flu right now... its painful...

niways aft work went to izz home... my parents drove me to adm mrt station n izz fetch me from there... i was feeling very sick already.. we bought some food for me than went to his hse... we ate n he was still hungry... so i cooked for him prata.. took a shower n went to sleep.. he was using my lappy... i really couldnt take it cos i feel so sick... was tossing n turning... really uncomfortable, stomach hurts, feel nausea, having flu, my fever is catching up.. really feel the pain... was moaning in pain.. izz comfort me... i was so touched of how he showed his concern... n how he comfort me.. we went to wdland mart to eat again.. than he told me to take cab home, he scared that i might faint... izz, thanks for your care n concern, i am touched despite the risk we r facing... although we were in bad terms last night, we put our ego aside n cared more of my health... baby, i love you so much... you gave me comfort.. i hope it wont just be for awhile n fight again tonight.. i wish i could freeze the time n stay at that moment of comfort... thank u for putting ur ego aside n showed me your sincere love n concern... i really love u so much...

i took the cab, the driver was so friendly, we were chatting abt late micheal jackson... of how great he was in his generation.. had a great conversation with him...

tmr i was suppose to work, but in my condition, i better not go n seriously got see the doctor.. i hope its not swine flu as i just came back from ISS camp with the foreign student...

2009-06-25T20:36:00.002+08:00

heyhey... stayed home for today... wasnt feeling too good... had stomach aches... i'm just gg to keep myself from ppl for the time being cos of the swine flu... today spent my time in my bed watching Boys Over Flowers. watch one episode, fell asleep for abt 20 min than continue again.. than talk on the phone with izz a couple of times, than watch again... the drama is getting a lil boring.. but i'll just continue cos i like the actors... hahaha...

these days, its getting complicated... it seems things has got out of hands... its so messed up... i dunno what to do... should i hold on to it or just give up and let go.. i'm getting tired n things becoming meaningless... its seems so hard.. i just dunno what to do n i'm confused... what is there to go for? what is there i can hold on to? for the memory we have, is it good enuf to keep it going? what memory is there to keep me smiling? what is there for us to hold on to n make us smile again foolishly like we used to... its just a silence conversation, no agreement only argument.. we couldnt compromise n no discussion... its just too comlicated n i guess no one can understand cos i guess we both dun even understand what we both need... i wish we could do something to mend all the unhappiness n the broken... its a pity if we give up too soon cos deep down only we knew the answer.. but right now, things r getting complicated by the min.. haiz...

2009-06-24T22:10:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. i'm back!!!! had a great time at the Student Seminar camp.... it was so fun... hahahha..

day -1.. sunday

i was suppose to report for the camp by 7pm... so since i have time, went to meet izz n went to kallang stadium to collect my AYG shirt... it was freaking hot n we had a hard time finding that freaking dead stadium... the stadium was like a dead town... no one was around... so weird... had a heart braking news... was suppose to get size M but only left with size L.. so no choice, just take..

than i realised i forgot to take something, so i got to go back yishun to take that stuff... than we went to eat at ljs.. aft awhile we took the train to jurong.. he promised to sent me off.. so we did.. when we reached jurong, we were early, so we lepak first... so many train went by.. when its our time to let go, i dunno why, i cried... so he decided to stay n wait out for another train.. so finally i could let go... btw, my bag is freaking heavy.. thank god he is arnd, we carried my bag all the way... so he took the train back while i took the train to clementi to meet the rest..

was suppose to meet eyvon n faisal at jurong n infact faisal wanted to meet at wdlands n go togather, but because i'm with izz, i turned him down.. than mr zaki ask me out for dinner b4 heading to NUS... i turned him down too... than dexter ask me to meet up first with mr zaki.. so in the end i decided to meet dexter n mr zaki aft they had their dinner...

we took the cab to NUS cos mr zaki's bag is so freaking big n heavy... hahha... yay, mine too is heavy... reached there, we went to check in for the key... we were so happy cos me, dex, mr zaki rooms are in the same building... n our friends from other colleges were there too... they r faisal, eyvon, ain, juliana n maisara... so 8 of us went out to grab something to eat, it just outside... than went back for ambassador briefing...

i was so hungry n i dun have much cash.. called my mum n told her i was so hungry... i asked her if she could by me fried rice, drinks n some snack.. n bro agreed to give me $20... when they came, they bought me what i wanted but with something extra... dad bought me roti prata n they gimme $40! wow.. ahhahaa...

had my dinner n went to bed... fcuk its so freaking hot n uncomfortable... btw, i got a room for myself.. wohoo, a lil spooky though... the bedsheet is made of polyester... its freaking rough n hot n not comfy... best of all, no aircon... i couldnt sleep so i decided to read the book i bring along with me, Holiday in Death by Nora Robert.. love it.. i read till 4 plus than finally fall asleep...

day 1.. monday

start the day by looking for my international student form hong kong cos they r no where to be found... was suppose to report at the bus pick up point but none of them were there... i decided to hunt them down.. guess wat, they crowd one area... asked them what happen, they say they r not sureof how to get there... hahahah... cute... so took their attendance n temperature n board the bus...

reach ITE simei, fetch my 2 Canadian student... unfortunately one of them is not well, o she didnt join us, her name is Venessa.. so the guy joined us, his name is Ryan... we had our breakfast at cafe 1... i didnt sleep enuf, so i ate an apple n drink orange juice.. crap! my stomach hurts like hell... my heart pump real fast n i got dizzy... i was so idiot, i took acidic food with an empty stomach... n the best part, i'm having menstrual cramp... ouch...

we sat for the seminar... in between we had teac break n exhibition... than continue w the seminar n presentation... had lunch than we had our cultural visit... we bring them to raffles place... they wanted to see the merlion.. so we change the route.. we went to suntec, th fountain, esplanade, the river, the merlion, pass my the old parliament hse than back to victoria concert hall n board the bus...

we went to vivo city to have our dinner n its free n easy time for us... since the int students wanted to shop for souviniers n budget for dinner is low.. so we decided to bring them to chinatown... we took them there by train.. it was great cos its their first time n i'm proud to show them our daily lifestyle...

we went to eat at maxwell food court.. they sure eat alot... mr zaki bought me chin chow drink n chin chow dessert... he said that its too heaty n i need this... hahhaha.. thnks mr zaki... aft eating, we bring them to Sago Lane to shop... we gave then an hour.. so me, dexter n mr zaki went to shop ard... bought them key chains as a souviniers from us.. than went to this shopping mall cos i need to get a shoe for the social night... the guys went to Dr fish spa... hahhah. funny, its dex first time, n he was like freaking scared n scream like a girl.. hahhahahahahaa.. met them as planned at the mrt station than took the train back.. n board the bus back to NUS..

reach hostel, rush to the toilet n shower... went back to my room i fall flat on the bed n slept.. ppl knock on my door also i didnt wake up... izz sms n called also i didnt hear... i was super tired....

day 2... tuesday...

i woke late!!!!!! mr zaki called my phone n i didnt pick up... he knocked on my door.. i open the door n was super shock cos he was dressed already.. omg!!! i'm only left like 20 min to get ready... my room is in a mess... hahahhaha... got dressed on time... n pack my stuff for the social night event...

went over to ITE simei n had our breakfast.. went for the seminar with tea break... lunch than continue with the seminar again.. i sit in between mr zaki n dexter... we were bored, we were joking like carzy n fall asleep like nobody business.. hahahah...

was suppose to go visit the YOG centre bt because of the speaker's presentation so long, we were like n hour late... yupp... so spent such a short time at the YOG centre... took the bus back to ite simei...

we had like an hour free time to get dressed for the social night... met adnan, n he acc me to the toilet than is not much ppl... i wore my purple long sleeve shirt w jean n my new shoe... put pn some light ake up n wore my contact lense... my hong kong student didnt recognised me... they shock to see me... they said, " a mas, u look different, so beautiful"... hahahahhahah... went down to the atrium to fetch Ryan cos he stay in the hostel at ite simei.. he looked surprised when he saw me n smiling away... hhhahaha... walked tru the hall n felt the eyes on me...wohhooo... yeah man...

its our social night... its at the indoor sports hall... had our dinner there... aft that the show begins... the hk students n singapore student performed... hk performance was like sooo coolll n nice, i scream like mad... hahhaha..

than the time has come... the highlight event for the day... the dancefloor!!!!! they turn the hall into a club... serious shit, it was cool.. they turned off the lights, had the lighting like in the pub, with the smoke n they blast the music... everyone was there pack at the dance floor... for that 2 hrs, i had my lifetime madness n wild... was dancing like shit n enjoying my night.. got dizzy cos of the loud music n the lightings n the pack of ppl... they had dejays i guess from a club too.. its like a prom night.. damn it, had the best time of my life.. had hot guys there dancing our way.. wow.. really it was freaking shit fun n wild.. saw some ppl grinding... n i didnt expect this guy to do that... i'm nt gg to reveal who to protect his identity... only those who were at the dance floor will noe this guy... hahhha.... gerek sia!

went back to the hostel, took a shower, pack up a lil.. talk to izz for a while n went to sleep....

day 3.. wednessday.. last day....

shit man! i'm late again.. mr zaki called me on my phone... only got like 20 min to pack up n dressed... omg... was like shock n i ran everwhere... got there on time n its raining heavily... went to ite simei.. had our breakfast n went for the closing ceremony in the auditorium... closing speech by Mr Zaqy Muhd... n performance my hk n spore student... it was great.. n the finale, we had ballons falling on our head.. was sooo happy that tis student sem is finally over... yay...

took pics w everyone n had lunch.. say our goodbye n leave... hehehhe... yay!!!!....

niways in total, we have students from hong kong, canada, germany n australia... in total we have 600 plus student participate in this seminar... 300 plus from hk, 10 canadian, 6 germans, 10 aussy n the rest spore... yepp.. the canadians, germans n ausy stay at ite simei hostel... hk n spore student ambassadors stay at NUs hostel.. yepp...

we were provided 3 shirt n the hk students gave us a shirt too... wow.. so many...

niways aft the camp went to meet izz straight away at adm.. we hang ard n played soccer... he said he missed playing with me.. hahhaha... had dinner n lepak.. feels good to by his side again.. my head was like in alot of pain... so i went home kinda early at 9... yepp.. i guess its caused my the rain... niways at this camp i leant to be independant n not to lean on izz too much.. i guess it shows...

wow, i wrote alot today.. post the pics tmr k.. so tired la.. niways gonna meet izz again tmr... got to spent time w him when i can.. cos from 28 onwards will be bz with AYG n by than, sch reopen.. sian.. k la, bye....

2009-06-21T12:02:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. this is my final farewell for everyone... i'm gg off for a camp at NUS for 3 days.. n will be back on wednessday.. so will continue blogging on wednessday nite... for the moment, my laaptop will be pass over to izz, to fully utilised my lappy... hahahhaha...

niways gg off to meet izz now... he will be sending me off.. yepp... bye... baby izzy, i love u.. n i'm gg to miss u.... bye...

2009-06-20T21:51:00.005+08:00

heyhey.. had a hmmm, cool day i sae?

went to airport to fetch the hong kong students.. there were like 10 of us, the student ambassadors n a few lecturers... n the hong kong have abt 90 students.. like wow alot.. i think we have abt 4 buses for them.. we were like "hello welcome to singapore, this way please" n clapping hand n waving n smiling.. hahaha.. tiring.. help them up the bus n followed them to ite simei... they put their stuff in a room then bring them to the auditorium for the rehersals.. yepp.. than we leave them there n go home.. initially was suppose to check them in into their hostel n bring them out for dinner... but plan change, so go back early...

went out of that sch abt 4.. called izz, n he said lets meet.. yepp... so met him at adm for dinner.. went wdland mart to eat, i ate fried rice n yummy its nice.. than we went to a hall.. n it started to rain, so we lepak there... so cosy.... haha.. when the rain stop, we went to a shop n bought chapteh... played at void deck.. hahah.. we throw it to each other n we were having so much fun.. hahah.. we play until the the chapteh got no feather.. hahaha... than went home at 8 cos i got things to do at home... seriously, something is wrong with me, i got cranky again when gg home... i hate it.. i noe he dun like it, he got to push me make sure i go home... haha, today didnt plan to meet him, tot not gg to meet him today.. he fell twice today cos its slippery n he was teasing me.. dunno y he keep on teasing me n he say he having fun.. haiz, idiot... but i love him... but somehow these few days i feel we both are missing something n i dunno wats dat..

niways today make a couple of new friends from other colleges, they r also the student ambassadors... they r evon from dover, faisal from balestier i think n the other guy from ite simei, forgot to ask his name... its great that me, dexter, evon n faisal can clique with each other... gg to NUS togather with them tmr.. hehehe...

tmr got to go national stadium to collect my AYG shirt n than go for the camp... izz has promised to acc me... he better come or i'll be mad.. hahah..

k la, gtg... bye..

2009-06-20T11:26:00.002+08:00

red alert!!! red alert!!!... haiz.. wrong timing la... no wonder i got all signal for the past few days... i got this stupid pimple on my cheek at the cheek bone area, u can see it in my latest pic... than izz told me that i've been acting strangely ytd... n i realised my temper flew real fast.. i got sensitive n emotional real fast... hmmm... stupid la, i got to go for a camp n this happens... sian... no wonder i have been moody lately....

niways.... singapore has reached its 100 n above case of swine flu... n guess what?? my family or rather my mum got all worried abt me gg to meet the international students... they dun want me get affected n spead to the whole hse... better still, the whole house got quarentine.. haiz....

stupid la, the koren drama i have been watching online.. a few episode are not able to be watch dunno y the removed it... i got pissed last night so i went to sleep... so many episode leh!!!! argh.. damn it...

k la, i better go now... need to be at the airport at 1.30pm.. bye... baby, i love u...

2009-06-19T23:21:00.002+08:00

heyhey... just got back... what a stupid day for me... hahahah... i think there is something wrong up in my brain... i guess it must b my stupid pms... hahaha..

niways i was with izzy the whole day... was suppose to meet him at 11am... but we both overslept n woke up late... we met at 2 plus i think.. we meet at wdlands, brought my lappy along... so he use my lappy n i... dunno do what..hahaha... oh ya, i was reading this funny called, America most DUMMEST criminal... hahahaha... funny stupid story...

than we went off, took the bus to triple 8 for lunch... ate at kfc... aft a while, we went out to few fitness coner to play a fool... hahaha... more like killing time... we lepak like everywhere, as usual... than at 6.30, when his dad went off to work, we went to his hse... his mum at home... went to change to his shorts n wore the white pink shoe to play soccer... we played at the field... he wore his boots... but i got no mood, so we decided not to play... than went back up... his mum was shock that we only went like 1o min.. hhaha...

so he took a bath... his mum told me to stay for dinner... she cooked kacang phool... i actually hated kacang phool since young... but when i tasted it, damn its nice.. no kidding... really finger licking good... hahhaha.. talk to her abt korean drama... well, izz told me that me n his mum has alot off similarities... hahaha... rested for a while than we went off at 8pm...

e didnt go home.. went to lepak at the void deck behind the bustop... i was so moody dunno y.. he tried to cheer me up.. seriously, i wasnt upset abt him, i just have no mood, n it was since morning... he tried lots of ways to make me smile again until he dance... hahhahhaha.... ssooooo cute... hahhahaha... was there for 2 hrs... i got cranky n so sensitive when i need to go home... n i cried.. hahahah... he told me to go home n i dun want to go home.. he was like persuading me to go home cos he dun want me to get scolding from my family... in the end, i did board the bus... n i cried... stupid sia!!! what the hell is wrong with me....

really today i dunno why i got all quite n sensitive... wasnt in my right mood... i pity my baby to have to go tru this thing in me.... i love him so much though.... niways today is the last day i'm meeting him... cos i'm gg for my student seminar camp on sunday aftnoon n tmr, i need to fetch the hong kong students from the airport n need to play host with them... he promised to meet me on sunday... he wanted to acc me to national stadium to collect my AYG shirts n he wanted to sent me off to NUS for the camp... yepp... was afraid that its gg to be the last time i'm meeting him... cos what if i get swine flu? n i get quarentine? nobody noe seh... its unpredictable...

baby izzy was upset that i'm not gg to be able to meet me for 3 days... but he was glad that we r still able to contact each other... yay, lucky me... we were like squabbling the whole day, n he say.. "marah2 tandenye sayang"... hahhaa... ya ya, make my heart want to explode lagi ade... i realised that though we r not a 'couple'... we r more that just a lover... more like a lover n a bestfriend... we have seen each other's true colour... omg... guess maybe gg to see more of this... its horrible to see the ugly side... but that made me love him more... hehe...

k la... gtg... gg to watch Boys Over Flowers... bby is not calling, guess he is mad at me for my stupid behaviour today... haiz.. i'm so sorry baby... love u no matter what status we r now... i love u more than ever... he told me two things today n that made me realise that we need each other not just as a lover... i dun care what our status is... or wat ppl gg to say... as long as we have our heart tied to each other.. n thats enuf... bye...

2009-06-19T12:02:00.006+08:00

expired photos.... here r the photo during the choir.. too bad its not the performance.. just pictures of us camwhoring in the waiting room or rather changing room..

2009-06-18T20:19:00.003+08:00

heyhey... had a long day today.. n i'm very tired....

niways went to sch for my student seminar briefing... well actually today the whole day is abt student seminar... so, i reach sch a lil late... meeting ended at 12... we got our pouch n our 2 polo t shirt... n we r expecting another 1 shirt... so in short, throughout this whole trip, our shirt is provided... wow... hahaha...

than at 12 plus, me n dexter, rush out for lunch.. we manage to gobble down our lunch n rush to take the train to raffle's place to meet the rest of the ambassadors who is bringing their group to the location... so today is our walk tru session... the weather is so freaking hot... start our journey along the singapore river towards the victoria concert hall... than went to our first stop which is at the sir stamford raffle's white statue by the river... than take a walk to the, old parliament house, supreme court, city hall, st andrew cathedral and raffle's city.. from there we walk all the way to suntec city... this is our route for our first day tour on monday... but for my team, we will start from suntec n do the reverse...

its 2plus n we have to rush down to the Youth Olympics Centre... was suppose to be there at 3 but we were a lil late... but oh well, our schdule is tight... niways we had a short lecture abt the olympics.. than we have our tea break, we were given old chang kee but no drinks at all... hahaha.. so aft that hade a guided tour ard the exibition... i dun like our tour guide... shall not eleborate cos they r only sec 2... niways than was suppose to play games but we didnt play cos we need to go off.. so we cut short and went for the tour guide training... we r guided on how to give a tour for the foreign student.. the whole thing ended at 6pm... n reach home at 7... soooo ttiirreddddd....

niways reach home, got a blast from my family... they were all worried abt the swine flu... cos i'm gg to have a close contact with the students from hong kong n canada... they all dun want me to go... n they insist on talking to my teacher to find out abt my safety.. haiz.... i am worried myself but life have to go on...

k la, i gtg.. so tired n fucking pissed with someone right now... bye...

2009-06-17T23:59:00.011+08:00

heyhey... had a great day today meeting izz... met him at 4pm i think... cos i had to do some stuff for my mum first...

we went to sembawang today... went for parkour, i didnt do it cos i dun feel like doing it.. i have a wardrobe malfunctionl... thank god, i'm in luck, izz brought extra shirt.. so i wore his shirt... than we had our meal at kfc at sunplaza... aft our meal, he wanted to go to this park, so we took the bus n go to this place that we nvr been before... it was ok la, but got lots of bangla, dun quite like it... we had a race like the ninja worriors.. hahahha... than we took the bus back to adm... by than its 7pm...

went to his hse, no one was arnd... took a shower n again wore his shirt n shorts... its been a freaking hot day today... than we watched tv n play games... at 9 plus, we go off... went to wdland mart to have our late dinner... bought chicken rice for him, i went to buy it.. than i dunno y, this hot guy keep looking at me, even izz also noticed... these days got many eyes looking... hmm, but i'm not gg to believe wat izz said abt ppl approaching me... niways izz was a lil sick... so we went to the block near the bustop, took pic than i went off.. was a lil cranky when i'm gg home.... not gg to meet him tmr cos he is gg out with the guys tmr, might meet him at town since i'll be there to tmr n he is gg to meet them there.. niways i reached home at 11pm... so late sia!!! hahahah... today wore 3 of his shirt.. omg.. i better return his shirt soon or else he will run out of things to wear... niways he had a surprise for me, forgotten abt it at his hse, go off than remembered... he said he gg to pass it to me the next time we meet... i alreadt knew abt it, but i'm not gg to say it here until i see it.. cos i cant believe he will do that for me...

niways here r some of the pic for today... not much though...

tmr gg to be a busy day for me... i have a meeting at sch at 10.30 am for student seminar.. than at 1pm, need to go down to raffle's place for a walk tru session for the foreign student, we need to noe where to bring them.. than at 3, need to rush down to tangling for Youth Olympic Games tour training, cos we need to bring the foreing student to the YOG places for industrial visits.. yepp.. so i'll be at town area.. that was y i say i might be meeting him there tmr...

k la, i better go now... i think i'm falling sick.. my body ache, my throat hurts, been sneezing n feeling gonna hit by fever.. oh no! i dun want to be sick at these crucial time!!! no!!! niways, bye...

2009-06-17T12:09:00.002+08:00

heyhey... omg! had the scariest nightmare!!! thank god izz called n woke me up.. i was trembling when i woke up.. scary.. god, please dun make that freaky nightmare come to life.. i dream that i was stuck in the lift with another 2 person.. we were like frame by someone. stuck there for 10 years... n aft 10 yrs, the world change to baberic... god no.... scary shit... izz saved me from that nightmare...

niways last night, izz msg me, we talk it out tru sms.. i was so tired, n half of the time i dunno wat i replied n some of it i didnt reply until he call me... wasnt on purpose,i was extremely tired... i slept without even taking out my contact lense, with the laptop on my bed at the korean drama web page n the light still on... sorry baby i couldnt converse with u last night... he was determine not to let me go n make sure i didnt leave him.... was upset last night.. but when i hear his voice when i woke up, guess i wont go away from him... aft what we converse abt, i cant bear to leave him cos i love him so much n the fact that he puts in the effort, i cant... told him i'm giving up... but he told me.. "please dun give up".. its telling me he dun want me to go...

i really love him so much... gonna meet him today... gonna spend the whole day with him today.. i'm gonna treasure everyday i have with him cos we never noe when we have to go.. like he say the other day, life is unpredictable... he was scared of losing me.. i guess i was cruel to make such decision on a day like ytd... to make his day the worst day of his life.. gosh, wat am i doing? guess the love we have is too strong for each other to let go...

i got to go now.. gonna meet him soon... bye..

2009-06-16T23:52:00.004+08:00

today was suppose to be the bestest day me n izz should have cos after all that shit we went tru, we r still here... i guess i was cruel today for making today the worst day of his life... i guess its the best that i can do... i told him that today is our last day of whatever we have... n its the last day we r gg to meet... since he wanted to be single n have freedom i'll let him have it n get the real meaning of being single... i cant tolerate our situation we r in now.. i can't be his date n having him dating a few other girls at the same time.. i cant bear to see that... its fucking hurts... so to be fair, i'm gg to let him go n let him date as many girls he wants n flirt around like nobody business... i dun want my jealousy to kill us both any futher.... i dunno for u girls out there but i cant tolerate having him flirt infront of me... but i told him he had enuf fun n want to come back to me, i'll be ready to accept him back with open arms.. n now he is cursing me as we r fighting, right now... haiz... am i being unfair? niways i have my flaws too that cause us to fight all the time... i'm always being negetive n tend to be kepo.... i'm always jumping into conclusion.. n i couldnt trust him fully... we both did our shit... n i dun see how to save our relationship.. so nw, i guess it's over... y should we cling on to each other when we r always not happy w each other?

2009-06-16T23:07:00.005+08:00

heyhey... just got back home...

today is our final day for choir.. its our performance day!!!!! reported to sch at 9am... n went over to NUS.. had like 3 rehersals... the performance is at 3.30.... we had our break from 12 to 2pm... had our lunch n the rest of the time free... at first everyone feel sleepy so since there is a lot of lockers, we each took one locker n sleep inside... hhahhahaha... than the second hour, we start to camwhoring... swear to god me n ilah took pic damn alot... hahhaha... than the guys were force to put on make up by the girls n they look good... n nigel starts to say,"this is what happens when there is too much girls in our class"... n ilah will say, "omg, we dun have any guys in our class..." hahahahha... performance was great!!!! had to wait for that guest of honour for like 10min, we waited on stage infornt of audience n not suppose to move... so were tired! but our performance was a blast.. yepp...

my choir ended at 4.. than went to woodlands to meet izz.. its our 4th monthsarry though we are no longer togather... we went to watch TERMINATOR... its great!!! love it... yepp2.. hahhaa... than we took mrt back to adm n lepak for awhile than went home... ouh ya, he applied for a job... i helped him asked.. hahahah...

here some pic during the choir... the rest is in ilah's phone... n some of it is ytd's..

2009-06-15T22:57:00.007+08:00

heyhey.. its a holiday.. but damn i have to go back to sch... had our final vocal training n head down to NUS for rehersal... the place is nice... huge... cool... we have our own dressing room.. n i mean dressing room with full facilities... i'll post the pics tmr... during the rehersal, they guys damn joker.. was laughing my head out at stage.. hahahaha... our instructor even worst.. during our final rehersal, he make funny faces to us... all the way i couldnt sing cos i was laughing n try to control.. hahahahah.... here is the pics...

there is more pic in nabilah phone, i'll post it when i take from her tmr...

kk, bye... tmr is the day... guess i'm gg to make it final...

2009-06-14T22:45:00.002+08:00

hey there... my sunday was bad n good.. hahhaa... was suppose to meet izz today.. he called me at 1pm n woke me up.. i slept late what... initially he didnt want to meet cos of ytd arguement... but than he called me again cos he want to meet me.. so i went out to take a bath..

well, its a sunday n my parents are not working... told them that i'm going out.. but they were mad at me for not spending time.. so ok la.. what make me pissed is that, they want me to acc them to the market... i hate it cos we will b shopping for our stall, not for home.. n i hate it when i see money fly away.. that was y i was so pissed...

i couldnt avoid it cos its my fault for not spare some time for mum n dad... so ok, we went out.. than they told me lets go out to eat n not go the market... so we went to north point for lunch at 4pm.. after that my dad had to attend to something so left me n mum to window shop.. yepp, we went to buy the necessary cosmetic... that went to look for shoes for me... than look around for dress design for my dress during my bro's wedding that is going to happen in August at indonesia...

we went into various shoe shop to try on some shoe that dun buy any.. hahaha.. so bad... than we went to maccy eat ice cream to waste time.. at 7, we went outside north point.. there is an art festival called Cracker... we wanted to watch but we were too early... so we lepak while waiting for dad...

at 7.45, we went into the area to watch the show... it was so mysterious cos the setting is scary... its the World Famous fire cracker show from UK... i was so excited cos i was told that it was nice... the show starts... n its so niccee!!!!! so scary cos the fire crackers is like so freaking near to us... mum was so scared that she grab me real tight till it hurts... it was so loud n smoky.. if they were'nt careful, the fire works could hit us, the audience... its the first time i watch a firework that CLOSE... wow.. u can almost touch it... it was amazing.. i had so much fun... we were all dusty cos of the fire work.. wow, its so nice n colourful... wish i could watch it again.. too bad i cant take picture cos we were told to switch off our mobile phone for safety reasons.. but meiyun was there n she took pic with her camera... so, maybe when i get from her tha i upload... 3 cheers for the world famous team!!! niways b4 the show starts, the motivators make us pop the party poppers to get us going, feel the atmosphere... than when they pop the poppers, got 1 idiotic guy said, "wow, nice fireworks!" hahahhaha... so sacarstic...

niways talk otp w izz on my way to north point.. were we joking, n i guess i went over limit n he got mad... but we were both insulting each other in a joking manner n he got mad... haiz... but than god when i called him when i got home, he was fine, sound so cheerful.. we talk for like 1 n half hour.. we sang some song togather, then he told me to read a few song lyrics that is so meaningful abt our relationship... had fun talking to him... he wanted to meet me tmr, but i have choir rehersal, he said, "cant u just once skip something for me... spend time with me?".. baby, i would if its just a training.. but its a rehersal at NUS.. so i had to go.. since it starts at 12.45, i'm gg to meet him in the morning before i go than meet again when i end my rehersal...

we r both so confuse of how we felt.. i am confuse.. but whatever it is, i am certain that he is always there, deep in my heart n i'm not taking him out just yet... i really do love him so much.. he is always in my mind... there was never once i never tot of him.. he is so special to me... though its been difficult, i never regreted to have him... i really love this guy named, izzuddin ismail...

i want to watch korean drama called Boys Over Flowers.. was recomemended by alot of people.. were told its nice... so while waiting for my baby to call, i go watch it for awhile...

k la, i go now... i miss my cutest gremlin so much... n i love him no matter what... my gremlin is my baby izz... bye..

2009-06-14T06:13:00.002+08:00

hey.. good morning people... so early rite? hahhaha.. i just got back.. sooo sleepppyy...

my saturday.. hmmm... lets continue from the previous post...

went to sleep than in the afternoon izz called... he was bad mood cos of what i decided to do for our relationship.. he was upset cos i didnt want to stay.. was suppose to meet but than he dun want cos he upset... but in the end meet at 6pm.. but i'm suppose to go out w my family at 8pm.. cos i love him ssooooo much, 2 hrs w him also can la... so i make my way down to meet him at his bustop...

when i got down the bus, he was shock to see me cos he said i looked like i lost so much weight.. everytime we didnt meet for a day, when we meet, he will always look at me n said that i lost so much weight n i'm getting skinnier... so i was hungry, we went to maccy bought food take away than went to the multi purpose hall... he said he didnt want to waste time so he will play soccer while i eat..so ok la, but suddenly, he decided to sit infront of me n watch me eat...

he said to me not to leave him cos he needed me.. i felt that eye connection.. n i knew its from deep within him that he still love me n he still cared... told him abt my bleeding gum problem.. he told me to visit the dentist but i didnt have money... than he said, i'll work n save money.. i'll bring u to the dentist...

niways after eating we played soccer.. just kicking ard... had fun laughing... than at 7 we decided to go his house to change.. he was all sweaty.. so he went to take a shower n change.. i wasnt that sweaty... so i sat at the dining table n chat with his mum...talk abt getting a maid.. hahahah...

we left the house to go to the woodland mart... bought chicken rice for his family than went to the maccy to eat.. he wanted to eat..so i acc him.. mum called so we quickly finish his food... he walk me to the bustop... tot of missing 1 bus but i'm in a hurry so i left with a hug n kiss...

i realised, our conversation is getting deeper.. in a sence that we look into each other eyes n talk... he wouldnt do that during our first few month.. it felt so special when we look into our eyes, cos for all i noe he dun dare to do it... it felt so meaningful... when i look into that eyes, i realise i love him so much even if we argue alot of times... even if he is untrue to me for some other girls... we both r in such a mess n i dunno how to clear it... it seems so complicated... but above all the trouble we r in now, i noe deep down we both love each other equally as much... i wouldnt mine giving him chances only if he seek for it n not to repeat.. but it seems like he's not stopping... but i could see the changes, he is not so wild like when we first met... i noe he is trying to resist it... it just need time n i need to do my part for us...

so i rushed down to yishun mrt... my parents waiting there for me... i ran from to north point maccy... i had to cos they hate waiting... so we went to meet my aunty at telok belanga with my relative from malaysia... than head down to east coast park.. at carpark f2... one by one came.. met my cousin there suddenly we all so kecoh cos we never meet for such a long time... when me n my two cousin meet, it will be havoc like a mad house... we took half an hour to catch up on each other... i said half an hour cos we all talk so fast n take turn cos we all excited to talk.. hahaha... laugh like crazy idiot.. me with my stupid joke n they with their crazy laughter... we talk so much, even the makcik lose... hahhhaha... funny... i love it when the 3 of us meet... best... our beverage is ice lemon tea.. i was in my crazy mood... my uncle asked is it "kopi".. than i dunno y, i go reply him.. "no la, its teh iced with lemon" they look so blur than laugh like mad...

than at 1 plus izz called... i dunno y he bad mood n wouldnt want to tell me... n he keep on irritate me n stepping on my nerve... n finally we argue like fcuk.. wth... the problem is not settle n i am pissed... he was really pushing me to the limit till i explode n said something to make things worst... baby, i'm sorry to say such things...

than i try to cool down cos i was really pissed like shit... so i join my cousins.. eat nasi lemak tat my aunty bought from changi... i was hungry.. ate 1 pkt... than i tot of opening one more pack n share.... than my bro offer me the chicken... than i asked, "than the rice u still want?" hahhaah... than he replied " uh, u can have the paper, i just want the rice n egg..."hahhha.. all of us laugh like mad... we were with the other 2 cousin from malaysia.. they so cute n witty... tell jokes n laugh.. i laugh out loud to make my sadness go away... than the 5 of us played true or dare.. so cute sia my lil from malaysia...

at 4am, my two lovely cousin wanted to make me happy n forget my problem... both of them have such a lovely voice... they sang to me... i'm so touched... thank you guys.. i love u guys so much.. i really feel better n forgot my problems... they r not just my cousin... but they r like my bestfriends for life... they sing until we fell asleep... at 5, we all leave... tot pf watching the sun rise... but the elders cant take it, too tired, so we left... reach home at 6...

omg! its 7am!!!! i better go n sleep now... niways was suppose to meet izz today... but i dunno la cos we argue just now... haiz... my fault i guess... baby, i still love u ok... u really mean so much to me.. we cant seems to let each other go even if we both irritate by each other like crazy... but i realise, the more we irritated, at the end of the day, the more we love each other... weird huh... but watever its is, i love izz no matter what... bye...

2009-06-13T12:39:00.002+08:00

hello... its saturday.. people shud be just wake up.. its so call the first day of my 'holiday'... hahaha, but guess what?? i jost got back from Orchid Country Club... had the AYG briefing just now..

we were brief abt our general roles... i got usher... cool job n its the most tiring job in this event, thats wat aaron told us, he is our usher coodinator... so, there were Jurong Ville secondary students abt 27 of them n 6 public volunteer, that includes me.. so there is a lot of position need to be fill up... the students got the crowd control n the messy job.. the 6 of us are to do ushers for VIP n information counter... we were given a choice... n i choose to do inforation counter... yepp... usher VIP boring... at least Information Counter more challenging n sounds cool to me...

went there in the morning took cab... woke up at 7.30.. freaking tired, i just want to sleep more... so i continue sleep till 7.50 than took a shower... cos i really have no idea of how to go though its near.. i took a cab... than i realise its quite near.. was chared $4.20.. so reach there 15min early... i just want to be sure.. first time i'm early for something... i force myself to be early... reach there so sian cos dunno anyone from there... suddenly i saw Mei Jia, my classmate.. wohoo... was so happy... hahaha...

was suppose to end at 12 but it ended at 11... actually can end earlier if they didnt dilly delly... hahaha...

so me n meijia decided to walk out to the bustop instead of taking the shuttle bus... so walked to the bustop was near.. tot of taking the bus.. but than its like quite near to my house.. so i decided to walk... yepp, i walk along.. was a bit freaky cos the road so deserted n its beside a park n "forest"... scared got dog of bangla chase me... hahaha...

so i walked alone n i manage to use that time to have a peace of mind... finally i have some time for myself being alone without any distraction.. did lots of thinking... i felt its now between me n myself... that walk beside yishun park n the playground no one was there... so i sat at the swing alone n swing myself... aft awhile it started to rain... i still continue.. than it got heavier, tot of gg to the shelter but got so many construction worker.. so i walk home... in the rain... n here i am at home... so early.. guess i gg to catch some sleep... need to rest... tired... of everything... i felt good being alone n spent time for myself n not anyone else... its peaceful...

sian, really my hols are freakin pack... the 3 weeks hol, i'm only free for 5 or 6 day.... yes, i am that busy....

k la, gtg bye.. meeting izz later i guess...

2009-06-13T00:56:00.002+08:00

talked to izz otp just now.. funny conversation... had a so called conference between me, him n his mum.. hahhahha... watever... niways he got to watch his damn hot temper n irritating attitude... niways got irritated by him telling his damn stupid jokes abt other girls n him... idiot, its not funny ok... its sound stupid when u say just joking... i hate ur stupid idotic joke... but watever it is, u r still in my heart my friend.. love u like always... niways i hate it when he tease me... irritating, been teasing me like crazy.. idiot sia! love u la izzuddin... maybe gg to meet him tmr.. gg to spend time w him n his mum... well he invited me.... funny, we r now just friends but he still want me to meet his mum... well ok la, a favour fom my dearest friend i guess... but he die2 want me to meet him tmr... n on sunday instead of gg out on a date he wanted to play badminton with me n make his mum join us.. huh????? ok... go... hahhaha.. wth... i think i need to sleep la.. bye.. gd nite... love u izz..

2009-06-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

i'm going to take step by step to delete izz from my life i guess.. maybe being just a date n friend, could use it as an opportunity to take a slower step to step away from him... i guess i'm not gg to find my way back to him instead use this opportunity to step away.. we will be dates first... than slowly become casual friend... than become aquintance than slowly lost contact n never to find him again... n than he can have all the girls he wants... he can go flirt as many girls at a time he wants... n all the girls that wants him can have him at the same time... yepp... i think we should do it that way... at least its not so cruel on both sides... just hoping we wont be gg away from each other as an enemy but as a forgotten friend that we once called love... i think we both should go away from each other... its gg to be hard for me.. but for him? i dunno...

niways in case if u guys wondering if the previous post was refering to him... no, its not him... its for someone who is once my friend.... a stupid retard guy...

2009-06-12T22:45:00.002+08:00

i hate u farking arsholes... go and fcuk all the bloddy pussies n dickheads... u farking whores gigolo bitch retard.. u so clever go u fark arnd like stupid dumbass u nabueyc***by@... u lame freaking tard go mess with the bangla la idiot.. damn u dim wit cby!!! go get ur unthankful misfortunate life sucked in the vacuum n zipped into a worst dumbshit life... u dun deserve me as a damn friend... u want me to be ur friend damn well u apprciate it u arshole bitch... get a life n fark off mine!!! i so farking hate u... ^$@@%^^@**^^*(((%%#@@7678##**

2009-06-12T20:29:00.004+08:00

hey there... today sch was okok la.. no lesson but we were in class... so first lesson play comp... than second lesson n third lesson combined n shortened... was suppose to be 3 hrs but nw become 1 hr... hahaha... so that last lesson we had we planned a small outing to sentosa on 25 june.. than mrs chan bought snacks for us... n we r released at 11am... farking early... so happy right can go home... but naahhhh!!! we got vocal training at 2pm.. its a final training before the rehersal n performance day... alot of my classmate cabut for class n only come for vocal training...

so that whole freaking 3 hrs really dunno what to do... i join amirah, morgan n fadilah... thet r farking funny sia!! for the whole 2 hrs we sit down at the canteen, we all laugh like crazy n gossip like shit... seriously i had damn alot of fun... funny sia!!! morgan n fadilah can make the best comedy couple... hahahah... joking on each other like nobody business.. hahhahahaha... gerek group of frens... but when morgan left for dragon boat, all of us damn bored... went to banking hall n its freaking boring like idiot..

than went for training at 2pm... it was the best training i ever had cos we all did our best n laughed like mad... hahhahha.. shiok ah... we had our positions n practice the entrance n exit stage... sang so well than the first time.. we r all ready... we had our blazer tried out.. i took size L... few mth ago, i borrowed a blazer for a competition, n my size is XXXL... now become just L... wohoo... yeah man! the guys damn funny... they had to sing solo to repositioning.. one of them when his turn, he open his mouth to sing he laugh.. 3 times.. than when he get to sing, sound funny cos he shy n pressure.. hahaha... than his friends said that his tounge is hairy, thats y cannot sing.. hahahahahaha... our trainer name is is mr wilson lim.. but we all call him JJ De Souza... its not even his name.. we call him that cos on our lyrics, that name is writen as the composer, at that time we didnt knew his name so call him jj... hahahahha... he kept saying its not his name... that ahmad said, "please arh cher, we call u JJ.. please" hahahahahha than another time he said to JJ, "noty ar JJ" hahahahha.. really had a good laugh... its madness... i really had a great time at sch...

aft sch went back with nisa... we talked... we wanted to go cwp to look for white long sleeve blouse for the performance... so we went n called mar to join us for dinner... we met and ate kfc... by 7pm we left.. we settled the strain in our friendship n left with a smile... n we all left n went home.. yepp, here i am at home...

niways ytd izz lent me his nike shoe... he wanted me to wear that shoe so badly.. so i wore.. its huge.. got lots of space inside.. hahahah.. even i'm didnt meet him, he is following me everywhere today... hahhahha... n here is the picture..

didnt mit izz today... i may be meeting him tmr... he didnt want to go for his national training cos he want to meet me... wth, told him to go for his training n meet on sunday for our date... hahaha... than he said meet aft his training cos he dun need to go to his cousin house.. hahhaa.. so seee first la how tmr...

niways tmr morning i need to make my way down to the Orchid Country Club for the AYG job training... i'm despatched to that location for the AYG event on 1 to 6 july for bowling event... yepp... damn, i'm the only one gg... haiz... got to be independant...

k la, i go now.. bye...

2009-06-12T09:22:00.002+08:00

last night slept late again... talk to him till 2 am.. i had a bad headache since the previous night probably cos i cried too much.. took the panadol last night n i khocked out.. but now my head still hurts... haiz...

i love izzuddin so much... i miss him so much...

2009-06-12T08:28:00.003+08:00

its hard to accept, but i have to anyway... right now i am single... but unavailable... me n izz are not a couple anymore.. we decided to take a break for a few reason.. right now we call it date... we both are dating each other... its not that we quarrell abt something or someone... its abt us... we need to take it slow.. not wanting to rush into things... i was upset n cried that night... but than i now its the best for us.. we shall truely get to 'know' each other deep down to carry on... i guess only we both noe wat is the real reason.. its hard for me but i'll take my time to move on.. but hey, we r still dating each other like we used to... but i'm not his girlfriend anymore.. he wanted me to get to noe other guys n make new 'friends'... but no, i dun want.. i guess i'm too emotionally attached to him... he said that when its the right time, we'll patch...

we met last night... i cried in his arm.. n he said to me... "dun worry, i'm not doing this to date other girls... i just want to rediscover myself, for me, for my future n for us.. i want to realised how much we mean to each other... i love you no matter what..." the weird thing is, aft we broke up, we r more closer to heart with each other.. no more quarrelling like we used to... it felt that our love is true for each other... i understand what he meant cos i wanted that too... we need to take it slow... but what make me breakdown last night that we were too close n too attached to each other.. loved him so much yet we r not togather.. niways these holiday i'll be very busy with events, he dun want me to get distracted abt us... he dun want me to be too worried abt us... but he'll be there for me.. he said he wanted to come with me during my touring at raffles trail with the foreign student...

ytd i told him that i want to play soccer.. he said its very weird of me to ask to play soccer cos usually i hesitant to play... i wanted to cos i wanted to release my stress.. i realised i felt better aft playing soccer cos i found joy with him.. its my true feelings.. its a joy without doubting.. but last night we were closer than ever.. it kept me thinking...

i guess we have to take our time since we r still so young... it hard for me to let go but i'll find my way out.. its not a cruel of him to do this cos its for the better...but i have to set boundaries between us though he dun want that... if we really meant for each other than we will be togather... the song i put for this blog, its abt us...

baby.. i love you no matter what.. i guess its for the better.. n i noe you'll always there for me like u used to... we'll always meet like we used to... i guess its the best time for us to find out how much we really mean for each other... now we have to put faith on each other to discover ourself n let fate take its course... probably its a sign for us... i realised u r too precious for me to let go... letting go made me realised how much i loved you...

here is the lyrics for the song i put here in my blog.. its abt us... called Ordinary People by John Legend..

[Verse 1]

Girl im in love with you

This ain't the honeymoon

Past the infatuation phase

Right in the thick of love

At times we get sick of love

It seems like we argue everyday

[Bridge]

I know i misbehaved

And you made your mistakes

And we both still got room left to grow

And though love sometimes hurts

I still put you first

And we'll make this thing work

But I think we should take it slow

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

'cause we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 2]

This ain't a movie no

No fairy tale conclusion ya'll

It gets more confusing everyday

Sometimes it's heaven sent

Then we head back to hell again

We kiss and we make up on the way

[Bridge]

I hang up you call

We rise and we fall

And we feel like just walking away

As our love advances

We take second chances

Though it's not a fantasy

I Still want you to stay

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

'cause we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

[Verse 3]

Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn

Maybe we'll crash and burn

Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,

Maybe you'll return

Maybe another fight,

Maybe we won't survive

But maybe we'll grow

We never know baby youuuu and I

[Chorus]

We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go(hey)

'cause we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow

(Heyyy)We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

'cause we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

(Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow

Take it sloww

Take it slow

This time we'll take it slow

2009-06-11T23:36:00.002+08:00

heyhey... went to sch today at 10pm.. was a lil late but the supposedly section head talk was delayed like 20 min.. hahahha..

so went in n found out we were all cheated.... its not that the section head wants to talk.. they wanted us to watch a movie... so we watched Slumdog Millionaire... its nice... love it... interesting, mystery n funny... they movie make me want to look forward for the next scene... think i'm gg to watch it again..

than aft that movie, had a quick lunch than rushed down to bishan ite.... went for the student seminar embassadors meeting.. me n dexter only.. n guess wat!? we were late for 50min!!!! we reach abt close to 3pm! gosh.. but thank god we didnt missed alot of things... than were informed abt the group i'm incharged.. i'll be taken students from Hong Kong n Canada... yepp.. will be at the NUS hostel from 21 to 23 june.. with them.. the itinery so packed.. yepp..

than aft that went to meet baby izzy at adm... went to his house to put bag... than went out for dinner at wdland mart.. than went back to his hse to change shoe n went to play soccer.. we played at void deck than went to the field.. played till 8... baby kick the ball accidentally hit my face... hahaha.. than my head hurts... than got 1 part he accidentally kick my ankle... i realised that i ran faster when i run aft the ball.. felt good playing.. felt good aft the run.. was like sweating like mad.. than go his hse to bath...than go out again... went to lepak than went home at 10pm.. was like out there for an hour... had a good time him...

i'm gg to have a date with on sunday... yepp2.. not gg to meet him tmr n saturday... sad seh... ytd nvr meet him, missed him so much...

k la, gtg bye...

2009-06-10T21:08:00.004+08:00

heeeyyyyy!!!!!! exam is OVER!!!! wohhoooo... gg for my hols next week.. i got 3 weeks hols.. but stupid, got lots of event need to attend... sian... cant spent much time w baby.. here is my schedule....

first week, mon n tues- vocal training n the performance day at NUS...

second week- mon to thurs- student sem... will be at NUS with the foreign student for that 4 freaking days... i mean, sleep at their dorm as in over night... cool or wat...

third week- wed all the way to mon- Asian Youth Games volunteer duty... yepp... 6 days straight... its on mon n i will miss first day of sch...

sian... my hols so pack...

niways today i sat for my Customer Relationship Management exam... it was great... 2 section... mcq is e killer... but the short ans questions are simple.. thanks for the tips mr lee... the paper is 1n half hour... if i do continously, i'll finish at half an hr... so i decided to take my time by doing the simple n obvious questions... sleep for 10 min than continue.. hahhahha...

i cant leave sch so thats y i didnt leave early... cos aft paper, got that damn DETENTION!!!! yes ppl, for the first time i went for detention... its for being late for sch.. for this whole mth, i need to stay for 60 min... fcuk! so was despatch to the lab n do cleaning... thank god it air conditioned... but get to go off at 45min...

niways wore my late bro's DC shoe... its freaking yellow n damn striking! huh! ppl were like looking at my shoe n those who noe me will talk to me abt the shoe... hhahahah... mr zaki walked pass n he look at me... he say.. "masturah!.. so yellow... hhehehe" hahhaha... wth... but i dun think i'm gg to wear it cos i scared i'll spoil the shoe cos its a treasure from my late bro... i'm rough n i'm nt good at being careful...

last night, my late bro came to my dream... lately everyone dreamed abt him... i miss him so much...

tmr i need to go to Bishan ite for student sem... i have ambassadors training.. its at 1pm.. yepp.. n sch starts at 10 tmr... yay!!!

didnt meet baby today.. he wasnt able to fetch me... n i guess will only be meeting him on wed.. he wanted to meet his friends... n i have something on... haiz... had stupid squabble w him just now.. but its resolved... hahha.. wth...

k la, i go now.. bye...

MsmaSSyLoVebAbyIzzY

2009-06-09T20:45:00.014+08:00

heyhey... got home early today.. sch was short n sweet... start at 8am and end at 11am... cool huh? hahahah.. was suppose to end at 2.30pm.. but s.w ws canceled n the 2hr lesson is shorten to 1 hr.. hahhaha...

was suppose to meet baby... i told him sch end at 12... but cos it end so early, i called him.. but was told he was still sleeping... so i decided to go wdlands wait for him... went to wdlands w mar n her bf, ammar... went to the library to study for tmr's exam... when i reached wdlands that baby msg me... hahahha... so met him at 1.. studied till 3pm than go off...

we went to adm to have our lunch at kfc... was supper hungry that i kept complaining every min... when i saw the food, i felt real happy.. hahahha... eat is good, food is good.. yummy.. hahhahk...

aft eating went arnd the neighbourhood to parkour... bby told me to do it but i was hesitent cos of no confident.. than he make me do some physical thing to overcome my fear... n it did... wohooo... so did a lil parkour n he took pic of me doing it... yeah man...

than baby wanted to play soccer with me... so we went to his hse to change shoe... his mum is at home, having her off day.. so we went to the field across the road and play soccer... gerek... for the first time i enjoyed soccer so much... probably cos i wore shoe instead of slipper... but only spoil is, i wore my skirt... hahahhaha... i was like kicking n running... felt good man... he tot me some trick but boy its hard.. hard... he told me one day when we both ready, he will teach me how to play soccer.. hahhaha.. yay...

shortly after the game, we went home.. went back to his hse to change back to my slipper n take my bag... was sweating so bad... wanted to leave immedietly cos i want to go home early.. but baby n his mum told me to take a shower first... i didnt want initially but he forced me... he lend me his shirt n pass me a towel... now with me, i have 4 of his shirt.. hhahha... n two of my shoe is there... hahhaa... he took a shower than we left..

he sent me to the bustop... missed 3 bus than go home... reach home at 8... stupid sia! my internet have some problem.. its supper lagging... but now ok already.. but still quite slow...
niways, here are the pics...

tmr i'm having my final paper which is Customer Relationship Management.. n to me is the hardest of all... oh gosh.. niways baby promise to fetch me tmr from sch.. n i promised him to wear my yellow shoe... it belongs to my late bro's n its now mine.. have not worn it...

k la, i better go n study now since my internet is damn slow... kk, bye..

izzuddin.. i love you madly!!!!

2009-06-09T01:26:00.002+08:00

masturah sayangkan izzuddin...

mas nak bau ketiak die...

mas rindu pegang muke die...

mas nak manje die...

mas nak peluk izzuddin kuat2...

mas sayang sangat2 kat izzuddin...

mas nak izz tidur ngan mas

jadi my bntal peluk k baby...

mas nak izz

mas rindu izz

mas syg izz banyak2...

i love u baby...

2009-06-08T23:18:00.002+08:00

trust? why is it so hard to trust? what is trust? today... everything... its all abt trust...
who should i trust now? dun trust me n i am not trusting anyone? can we live that way? why should i trust when it is not gain? u cant force me to trust n i cant force u to trust me...

today i lost somebody's trust, i dun trust somebody n i have to trust another person... 3 person abt different kind of trust.... in the first place, do i trust myself in doing anything? i dunno what is trust.. to give it at the right time n losing it at the wrong time.... giving the right trust to the right ppl... y am i trusting the wrong people who dun deserve it n not giving my trust to the right person who deserve it? i really have an issue abt trusting... its hard for me to trust someone who lost it so quickly.. n i dunno how to gain back someone's trust?

to someone i treasured so much.. i'm sorry for making such mistake n caused me to lose ur trust... its ok if u r not gg to trust me anymore.... i feel guilty n i'm sorry... i really dunno how to mend our friendship...

to someone i knew... i felt i lost my trust n respect to you... enuf is said n discovered.. maybe i should pull myself away from u from now on... u r now just a friend or companion.. not the one i could trust...

to someone i love... maybe time shall tell for us... been trying to trust you... it seems so hard... maybe i didnt... for now i will learn to trust u.. we both need that for our relationship.. maybe nt now but i'm trying... u gained that trust... dun lose it for what u have promised me... we have a long way to go.. lets give it a little time to let it grow....

2009-06-08T23:05:00.001+08:00

hey there.. here is another 2 favourite song from Notre Dame de Paris... enjoy!!!

2009-06-08T00:01:00.002+08:00

here is another scene from Notre Dame de Paris the Musical... its my favourite... such a quality performance with golden voice... a short one though... here u go..

another song than captured my heart.. its a very romantic song for esmeralda... here u go... enjoy...

n here the final one for the day.. i find it very sweet n cute... i really love it so much... enjoy!!!!

2009-06-07T23:39:00.002+08:00

heyhey.. had a good sunday? mine was great... heheheh

i spent my whole sunday afternoon with my baby izzy at his house.. hehehehe... was at his house since 3pm and got back home at 10pm.. hahhaha.. had a great time with him... my baby was so sweet today...

baby, i love you so much.. nothing would describe how much my love for u... baby, u mean the world to me too... no matter how many times u told me u love me, i still wouldnt know how much u do... but i noe ur love is always there for me... always ready to give me as much as u could... baby, thanks for respecting my decision today.. got to admit u'r the best today.. i enjoyed every single min of it... i guess only u n i noe how much we mean to each other... i'll always be there for u when u need me.. i'm so glad we didnt give up on each other... thank u for not letting me go when i wanted to leave.. i really love u so much...

till here.. bye

2009-06-07T12:44:00.002+08:00

hey everyone... happy sunday... hahahah.. wth.. nvm...

niways i spent my sunday morning n last night watching both Hunchback Of Notre Dame by Disney n Notre Dame De Paris the musical... both version is different in some aspect... one is children's version n the other is a darker version for the adult.. however both potrays the main thing in this story.. to me, the main thing they r potraying is the pure soul of people with different look n status... well that is my opinion... ok, i better stop talking in literature terms.. i used to be a literature student u see n i love literature.... quasimodo is my favourite.. a pure soul... i appreciate this both musiacal n cartoon version of notre dame de paris...

niways i'll post my favourite scene from the musical.. here is one of few of my favourite that captured my heart.... well, its up to u guys to watch it.... u dun like it? dun watch any of it... if u like it, tell me k... leave me a tag... i got goosebumbs watching it.. i wish i was at the theatre to watch it live... here u go... i'll post more soon...

this song is from the first scene... he is bruno pelletier.. he got that amazing voice... i love him n his voice... he is my favourite actor in this play.. the best voice...

2009-06-06T23:53:00.003+08:00

heyhey... went to work today... it was ok n tiring as usual.. maybe i'll be working again tmr... niways went back at 5 plus... was tired... but baby wanted to meet.. so i went home to shower n change..

met him at adm and decided to go to wdlnds library... i did my revision for my final papre thid coming wednessday.. its Customer Relationship Management... i can tell u its the hardest module among the three this semester... i can only do as much as i can n hope for the best... baby was using my lappy... doing his soccer manager...

after awhile we decided to leave n have dinner... we had our dinner at ljs... was so kenyang... hahahha... than decided to "work out" hahhaha... yeah, work out by walking all the way to adm... yepp, its been a long time since i walked with him... had fun with him...wheeee... reach the bustop to take 969... we sat n waited for the bus.. suddenly he asked me to acc him home cos he will be bored walking home alone n wanted to spend more time with me... so ok la... i walk with him... he carried my bag cos its heavy... reached his block than he sent me to the bustop n waited for my bus with me.... my bus came.. had our final hugs n kisses than i board the bus... than i took the train home...

i love my baby like crazy... things are getting better n we r happier... will squabble as usual n revenge on each other like small kid than we make up to each other... hahaha... i'm enjoying every part of our time togather...

but to all the happiness we had right now, somebody else is suffering... get well soon k babe... take care of urself... life is more precious, more than anything even if the content is sucks at the moment... u never noe one day u'll be someone important to a fortunate soul... treasure life as it is.. i wish u well... thank you for being brave n honest... thank u for giving up something for me, for my happiness... yes i am happy right now... i wish u will get happiness that u deserve one day... take care...

niways i'm watching Notre Dame De Paris the musical in youtube... its nice n haunting... but only watch it if u r interested.. if u dun than i guess u'll be bored... but to me, its nice... i'm gg to watch it finish tonight hopefully...

k la, i gtg... bye... i love my Izzuddin sooo mmmuucccchhh... he asked an important question.. i dunno... should i? maybe time shall tell... hahahkk... bye..

i love izzuddin no matter what....

2009-06-05T23:07:00.004+08:00

heyhey... another day has passed...

was late again this morning but i made it on time... cos i took the cab again.. no choice mah.. hahaha...

went to sch, did revision for the first 2 hrs than set for the exam... damn its hard.. okok la... but its harder than expected...

end sch, had the birthday celebration for the june babies... they r azhura, irfaan, branson n bryan.. well, today is bryan's bdae... he perform a song called warmness in my soul by avenged sevenfold on his guitar.... nice..

than went for vocal training... i was hyper cos of that stupid cockroach!!! hahhaa.. training was serious n we were put into positions... we are left with friday training, following monday short training n head down to the UCC for rehersal.. n tuesday it the DAY!!! its at National University of Singapore... in University Cultural Centre where every year's national day rally is held... heard there will be thousands of audience... its a graduating ceremony for ite merit students..

niway end training head down to adm meet my baby izzy... went to lepak as usual... than we went to super market to buy snacks... than head to his home... its evening.. took a shower n wore his shirt n shorts... had our dinner at the hall n watch tv.. he said that it felt like we were like married couple... hahahhahaha... than went to his room to continue watch tv... he was like eating non stop.. i was tired so i went to sleep... hahaha..

baby was kidding with me that he wanted to kill me than keep me in his closet... so that i'll be forever his n no one can have me... so sweet but so scary... he took the butter knife n put it on my throat.. hahahhaa...

than i decided go off at 9.30pm... i tidy up his room a lil than went off...he sent me to the bustop as usual...

i love my baby so much..i had a great time with him today... i felt comfort in his arms... i guess today is the last day with him... been spending time at his hse at nite this whole week... that's cos, both his parents work night shift n his sister is hardly arnd... but its only for this week.. thats y its last day... hahhah... but shall meet him tmr.. i guess...

i'm so comfortable with my baby izzzy these days... i really love him so much... he understood me better these days... niways here is a few pics of him while we were at the fitness corner..

k la.. i better go now.... damn, i need to work tmr... haiz... bye...

Siti Masturah LOVE Izzuddin damn alot...

2009-06-04T22:48:00.002+08:00

heyhey... i just got back... sooo tired n feeling weak... hahak.. i just got back from my baby house...

idiot sia! make me wait but than meeting at 2 was canceled... luckily i waited for abt 20 min.... so yeah i went off... i was like walking alone w my mp3... than didnt realise there is ppl behind me... it was this guy who i used to have a crush on... hahahaha... had a small crush on him when i went to cambodia, he was there.. infact had crush on him cos he look a lil like my baby izzy... that time when i went to cambodia we were still chatting.. hehehe...

niways i pity my baby cos its so early.. so i told him that i'll wait at library for himso that he can take his time to go out... i took the bus... he suddenly msg me ask me to go his house meet his both parents! no!!! not me in my stupid looking uniform.. hahaha... he respected my decision... so he asked me to wait for him at wdlands int since i'm taking 963 from clementi...

so we head to library... i did my full revision... i was mad at him in the library... its only between the both of us though... luckily he noes how to comfort me... hahaha... at 5 plus we go off... went eat kfc... yummy...

than took the bus to his place but we lepak outside for awhile since his dad is still at home... he was like worried abt his physic n asked me to go jog w him today... hahahha... wth... so went to his house to change... wore his shorts n i brought my shirt... so we jog... hahaha... i didnt do much cos i hate excersice... hahahha.. did a lil parkour... than go his house....

took a shower.. feels goody... n rested... i was in his clothes.... comfy... did my stuff than watch tv with him... played the game.. a lil boring though... hahahhaha...

than went off at 9.45pm... he sent me off to the bustop... miss a bus than went home... yepp2... feeling tired...

niways i'm a volunteer for the up coming AYG... Asian Youth Games... yay!!! i'll be over at orchid country club attached to the Bowling event... it'll be for 1 July to 6 July... yepp... woohhooo... we will be given shirt n bemudas.. wow... hahhaa.. cool ke pe... baby was jelous that i could be part of the event... but dun wry baby, i'll give u one of the shirt cos i'll be getting 3 set... hahahha...

today no pics... sorry... k la.. i gtg... tmr i'm having my Banking Operation exam.. i studied... need a lil more memorising... yepp... kk, bye.... just to let u guys noe, i love my baby izzy sssooooooo muccchhhhhh... heheheh...

2009-06-04T19:54:00.001+08:00

here is another Sergey Lazarev music video.. song called Everytime... enjoy!!!!

2009-06-04T10:19:00.006+08:00

heyhey... good morning everyone... omg!!!! i'm late for sch again!!!!! today was suppose to report to sch at 10... but they decided to bring the last lesson forward to 8 am... so... ya, woke up late... n i reach sch half an hr late... great man!!!

niways sry didnt post last night cos my lappy is with my baby...

so, ytd, is my exam... the paper was ok la.. managable.. than got at least 5% of the questions, we all nvr study b4.. wth... they want to go n complian.. cos if u can see, all of us study real hard.. surprising sia.. hahaha... but got to admit, the competition is high...

niways ytd we were suppose to report to class at 9am... but i dunnoo whats with us, me, mar n sera decided to skip the first lesson... we went to ljs for breakfast n study.. so we report for the next lesson which is at 11am... even if we go for class, its free period to study... only matters is the attendance... gosh..

than aft sch go for a short briefing than went off... went to meet baby at adm... we lepak at the neighbourhood area for awhile cos his dad is still at home... we hang out near his house until we saw his dad off to work... i think its 5 plus..

went to his hse, rested for awhile, studied, played a fool, eat dinner than go home at 9.30pm... baby sent me off at the bustop...

niways while we were lapaking at the neigbouhood area, i did some parkour n i was wearing my skirt! hahaha.. didnt do the vigourous one.. did the simple one only for the camera... n yaeh, baby took pic of me while i did the parkour.. but its just small n simple activity... here is the pic for the day...

my breakfast at ljs... Mexican Sandwhich..

yummmyy.. nicceee

mar took my pic while i was studying at banking hall...

its like freaking cold...

while we were waiting for his dad to go off...

took some crazy pic.. but only post the descent one.. hehehe

sorry, got to tilt ur head.. have not edit..

me doing some parkour... tilt ur head ya

so thats it for now... damn, my lesson will end at 12 instead of 5.. gerek kan??? but stupid got meeting at 2... haiz... guess we gg to skip tat meeting... hahahah... meeting baby later... bye...

2009-06-02T20:17:00.003+08:00

heyhey...

went to meet baby aft sch... met him at 12... so early sia!!! hahhaha... met him than had to rush to his house cos his mum needed him to do something... than we went back to cwp, went to the library... did some studying.. baby took up french book n study.. he wanted to speak french..

than we go out for lunch... wanted to eat maccy but so packed, so we went to cwp kopitiam... i ate penang fried kweh tiao... niceee... baby ate chicken rice... than we head back to library to continiu studying... half way study i was so tired so decided to take a break.. so i lean on baby shoulder n i fell asleep... i was like dead tired... baby wanted me to go home cos i look super tired... so we pack up... went out, we decided to take a walk in this "fine whether" (so freaking hot)... we went arnd playgrounds n fitness coner... than decided to go home tmr i have exam n i am tired.. got back home at 6... like wow... hahaha... hardly seh can go home that early...

yay, i reach home b4 my parents... they were happy i was home early... hahah... niways here r the pics...

i love my baby soo mucchhh... i thank god that our relationship is saved..hehehe... i am happy with him nowadays... today, yes i am happy with him.. yepp2... i hope this happiness will last till eternity.... n i hope it'll get better... i'm so glad that things are getting better... i love izzuddin so much... after all the fight we had, he made me smile alot these days.... yepp...

k la, gtg.. need to study for tmr's exam... its Principle of International Commerce... hmmm, not so bad la... bye...

2009-06-02T10:47:00.005+08:00

heyhey.. i'm in sch now.. boring cos later have s.w.... but i didnt bring my s.w gear.. n i'm planning to skip... hhahah... heck la, who cares for s.w when tmr we have examination.. haiyo...

niways lest next nite went out with my baby.. more like go his house to lepak... was so happy when i met him cos we had a tiff the night before... everything is fine now.. yay... felt so good to sleep in his cuddle... than we decided to go skate boarding... he make me wear his superman shirt... he complained that i'm losing weight... than he make me wear that shirt cos its his smallest shirt.. he wants to see if i can fit in.. n yeah, to our surprise i fit in just perfect.. hahaha... he told me to keep it.. hehehe..

than we went to the nearest multi-story carpark... to skate.. hahaha... but more like photo taking session... yepp... heheh.. tried skatting.. hmm okok la...

than we went to late dinner at maccy.. than go home... yepp..

i love my baby so much... last night was the best.. wa so comfy in his hug.. i love it so much... i saw the difference in him that we had quarrelled abt.. yepp.. i love him so much.. love him like crazy... heheh..

niways ms chan commented to me that my shirt look big n i looked like i lost so much weight... n yeah ppl, i did lost more weight... drop another to n becomes 70kg... yay yay... hehehhe...

i'm mitting my baby later, he wanted to acc me to study for tmr's exam at the library... hehehe.. i love my baby izzy.. here are the pictures...

2009-06-01T23:29:00.003+08:00

here is two favourite song.... from Sergey Lazarev n Smash... enjoy!!!!

this is sang in russian version... they have the english version but i think this one is better in russian than in english... but if u want to hear the translation, here is the link,www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfAyuUGqk20
its really a touching song.. lyrics so powerful.. love it

this is called Belle its a song played in the play called Notre Dam de Paris... Smash sang it in French version.. here is the original with translation if u r interested... really love it... soooo nniiiccceee... so haunting... heheh... enjoy!
http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH--RU1QjB0

2009-06-01T14:05:00.003+08:00

last night slept at 5.30am... ok, not night la, its freaking 5.30 in the morning.. only those who knew would noe y i slept that late..

niways last night made a hot discovery.. damn i'm so in love with him.. he is freaking hot n sexy!!! droolz.. hahahah... i love his song!!! his name is Sergey Lazarev, a singer from russia.. he was from a boyband called Smash... they were so sexy, tot they were gay... really Sergey voice is melting me... so sexy... love him love him love him.. voice damn sexy!!!

these r some of the song that i've heard... so nice.. some r Smash's some r Sergey's song

- just because you walk away

- everytime

- would you cry for me

- belle [russian version damn nice] its from the play called Notre Dam de Paris

- obsession

- lost without ur love

here r the picture

i'll update more ltr when i reach home.. i'm in sch now.. lesson ended liao... hehehhehe.. byeee...

2009-06-01T00:30:00.001+08:00

i guess this song sums up everything...

2009-05-31T21:21:00.003+08:00

heylo... i'm freaking bored!!!!

stayed home today.. was suppose to meet baby but cancel.. decided to meet tmr instead...

niways i stayed at home n rot.. hahaha.. was so hungry, than decided to go down n buy murtabak... dunno y i was like craving for murtabak.. bought it at $5 n i eat all of it.. i was like super full!! it was my first time buying it at that stall... n i can tell u, its the best i've tasted so far.. woohooo... than i bought popcorn, super rings, red bean bun n cup noodle.. i was so hungry that i bought all the food n still think its not enuf... hahhaha

got back home, watched harry potter on vcd while eating my murtabak.. i took my time eating it... i left with a bit n i was struggling to finish it.... i complete it than sit at that position for a while.. hahaha... felt good after eating... than after cooling down, i took my pillow n lie down in front of the tv.. i was like so sleepy after eating than yeah, i slept.. danm nice..

woke up at 6 plus, my bro came back, than i went to my room to continue to sleep... that wake up before 8pm! checked my phone, got 2 miss calls from him... i dunno y but i think he is mad over something... hmm... i wonder what went wrong this time..

went out of my room... than dicovered my bro ate the super ring n popcorn.. haiz.. but nvm, i'm still full.. its ok, at least ppl eat it not throw it away... i think if i were to keep it, i think tmr than i eat.. hhahaha...

its been a long time since i spent my sunday at home alone doing things i love the best... confirm tonight i wont be able to sleep cos i slept in the evening... i noe its bad to sleep in the evening but i was tired...

hmm.. thats all for now.. i love my baby izzy sooo muuccchh.. he said something weird to me... but than... nvm.. i love him though... bye...

2009-05-30T23:00:00.004+08:00

i'm missing you so much

y do u have to go so sudden?

leaving us all in tears n reminicense

if i could turn time back

you'll be the one i'll share my sorrow with

i'm glad when we were still togather,

we shared so much laughter

we shared so much joy though

we're caught in this nasty world

if you're still around

you'll be the one i'll listen to

if i could find our memory togather,

you're the one i shared my true smile with

i'm missing the times we had togather

i loved you for giving everyone

ur undivided attention n love

no one blame u for going away

i could have share more time with you

i really love you

n i'm missing u bro

i noe u r looking at us from above

i noe you saw me, saw my mistakes

i noe if u'r still here, you'll be the one

stopping me

from my bad habits

from my stupid decision

n from my mistakes

i could still remember those cries n tear

when u left us

i could still feel the pain when u left

i hope you have a better life up there

i miss you

everyone miss you

we all love you still

u're the best i ever had

i'm glad u'r once my bro

though u may have left

u'r still here in our heart.

may you rest in peace.